40 Leaves Left
by Lightning-Dono
Summary: Nami's diary to every day of her life, from the beginning of the first chapter to the end. [T for language and other things] Not good for Muffy fanatics.
1. First of Spring

**Lightning-Dono**: Don't worry, this fanfic is going to only be continued when I FEEL like it. xD It's not a consistently updated fanfic, but you know how it is. Umm...yeah!

Warning!

If you are a Muffy fan and have not read the warning in this fanfic's description, I suggest that you stop now. Yes, that's right, Nami bashes Muffy for the heck of it. Tons of gratuitous Muffy bashing. If you are offended by the bashing in any way and are not a Muffy fan, feel free to leave a review asking me to lighten the load of bashing. However, if you're a fan of Muffy, flaming won't do anything. I apologize for shooting down you dreams.

40 Leaves Left **  
Author**: -ahem-**  
Disclaimer**: I don't own Harvest Moon. Point-blank.**  
Age Recommendation**: 10 and up because of certain...words.  
Nami's diary to everyday of her life in "A Wonderful Life".

-

First of Spring 

Van was selling this idiotic little diary with a purple velvet cover, and I just HAD to buy it. Well, here I am, holding it in my hands and writing in it. I bet no one can imagine this, huh? Tough ol' Nami writing in a kiddy diary. I swear that Van was staring at me when I purchased it, but that's his problem. Anyone can have a diary, even if it's purple, ugly, and whenever you rub it the velvet squiggles around because it's not tight enough on the cover.

Either way, Takakura brought his friend's son over to manage that huge farm across from Vesta's place. I think his name is Jack, or something old-fashioned like that. He's having a hard time adjusting – whenever he sees someone, he's always saying aloud how the city was so much better and there were more the four channels on TV there. I mean, that's nice to know and everything, but who needs to hear that crap? It's his problem he didn't go and live with his father in the first place. I hear his mother spoiled him halfway to heaven, so I wouldn't be surprised if he asks someone how to use the damn kitchen next. I'm not even sure if he has one, but if he does, good luck to him. I must admit that he IS kind of cute, but it's against my nature to say such a thing, since no one would imagine that _I_ would say such a thing. Apparently, when you're anti-social, you stay that way and no one expects much from you. Jack DID talk to me once or twice, and the second time around he told me that I should visit the farm sometime and help him. As if. I can't even help myself with my own problems, much less do back-breaking work in a field of tomatoes. What does he even want help with? So far, he only has one cow, no seeds planted, and most everything is provided for him. For God's Sake, he's got all the tools right under his nose! He's just too idiotic to notice.

Muffy's been acting really strange lately. Jack visited the Blue Bar a couple of times and whenever he talks to her, she blushes like she's got some kind of fever (A very sudden fever, that is.) and drops whatever she's holding. I'll bet Griffin will fire her by tomorrow, just you watch. She'll be cooped up in that "Girls Only" room of hers doing nothing. Or perhaps she'll just get out more and flirt with Jack. She seems to really like him, anyway, but Jack seems to like everyone. With the exception of Marlin. Mr. I-Want-To-Be-Like-Elvis hasn't exactly been friendly lately.

Tim's doing room service again, so I gotta stop writing.


	2. Second of Spring

**Lightning-Dono**: Simply said, this has to be the EASIEST fanfic to update. EVER. xD Nami loves to rant about people. :P

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Second of Spring 

Here I am, writing in this all-too-hideous diary once again. I would've liked it better had it been blue, but that's just me. Purple reminds me of Romana's dress, which, may I add, I don't like.

Ah, and I have to say that Jack is the most ignorant and arrogant person in the history of this valley, next to Marlin, whom I seem to speaking of a lot lately. Apparently, this newly budding farmer seems to think he's got all of the stuff down and whenever he's approached with what he's grown so far, he claims that he's, "Working on it." OF COURSE he's working on it. I mean, there's no seeds planted when I walk by (due to his persistent requests) and his cow is ailing with something called LACK OF FOOD. He never has his cow out and none of his grass is cut down to make fodder. Plus, when he walks down the road, he has this really stupid look on his face that makes you think of someone that has a really low status in the community pretending to rise to royalty. I mean, really now, he can't even raise crops when he says he can, much less become a dictator.

Come to think of it, this valley has absolutely no leader. Not even a freaking MAYOR. That's saying a lot about the direction of this place. Everyone can do whatever they want, there aren't any laws or restrictions...but it's such a peaceful place, so I doubt anyone will do something completely outlandish. However, I'm still waiting for Jack to do so. The next thing I know, he'll be marching down the street in a clown suit and a parrot beak. Don't even bother asking why. Heck, I don't even know why I just wrote that myself.

This morning I ran into Rock on my way out of the Inn and he kept trying to ask me if his clothes were decent enough for him to turn into his very own clothing line. Does he make his own clothes or something? I could've sworn I've seen an outfit just like his on one of my visitations to different cities. It isn't that unusual to run into those kinds of things. At any rate, I told him, "No." and he walked off all disappointed into the kitchen. For some reason, I'm not quite sure I'd be too surprised if he was telling me off on Ruby. How long is she going to have to baby the guy? He's independent, but as immature as they get sometimes. I mean, he doesn't even know what an apple is...Can we say "Intelligence of a dead slug"?

Lumina seems a little depressed lately. Every day when I visit the mansion that belongs to Romana (How she became so prominent I'll never know. No one ever really speaks of her history.), Lumina often comes out after playing the piano and she'll look like she's just pulled herself out of a midlife crisis and her precious mind is still recovering. I ask her everyday what's wrong and she just says that she's going through a lot of stress because of the piano playing for her grandmother. Just this morning I told her to give it a rest and that she shouldn't let the pressure get to her in such a negative way. She just kind of nodded shyly and walked away. Lumina really is a sweet girl, but she's so quiet and never talks about her problems.

Muffy is seriously flirting with Jack now. He's only been here for two days and she's already ripping her wardrobe trying to catch fish for him and smearing her make-up picking flowers from the ground for him. It won't be long now before I point out that she's been pulling out dandelions to give to him, not actual flowers. Jack seems to be enjoying the attention, though, and I'm a bit jealous. I've been here for a while and respect for me has been lacking – actually, I can't tell if the majority respect me at all since they never socialize with me. Not them I'm extremely sociable, anyway. But back to the point. How come I don't have anyone flirting with me? I know, it isn't like me to seek romance, but all I have are a couple of close friends, but what I really want is a boyfriend...no one knows that, though, and I'd like to keep it that way. I couldn't imagine the looks on people's faces if they discovered that, "OMFG, NAMI WANTS A _BOYFRIEND_?" Ha ha, wouldn't that be enjoyable for the rest of the valley once my darkest secret has been revealed.

I take that back. If that desire was my "darkest secret", my soul must be pretty shallow. I might have to rethink that.

Later.


	3. Third of Spring

**Lightning-Dono**: Nami's update is quite simple to update. xD I know it says that Nami is the only girl you can marry that isn't in her teens, but screw that. :P

**Answers to the Review **

**Tonystory** – Thanks for the review and I'm glad you think it's interesting!

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Third of Spring 

I'm not eating lunch today, so I thought I'd take a nip upstairs and write a little in this diary. The more I think about it, I guess having this thing isn't so bad. I can actually spiel in it and no one really minds, which is completely opposite of what they'd do if I actually started babbling infront of them. No, I'm not starving myself. People have convinced me that I'm already skinny as it is, but I just don't feel like going out to the Blue Bar to grab a drink today. Jack always "does so much work" that he likes to take break there every noon to fill up on Blue Punch. I find it ridiculous – what kind of decent farmer sits there getting tipsy when his cow is out in the field waiting for him? I hope it dies, maybe then it'll motivate him to stop being such a lazy bum. Then again, I'm not the most peppy, non-procrastinator anyway, so I have the right to remain silent.

I visited Kassey and Patrick today and apparently, their fireworks are coming along well. I still have no clue what they use them for, seeing that this town is all-too pathetic to set of fireworks around the shore for festivals. Perhaps he gives them to Mineral Town? I do believe they have a New Years festival that they celebrate with food, festivities, and ((gasp)) FIREWORKS. Forget-Me-Not Valley is such a boring, dull place. Certainly peaceful, but I can find more wrongs than possible. What kind of lame-o festivals do they hold? One at Romana's mansion that consists of chatting and random events (Which is why I don't attend it). It was yesterday and it was pretty much the talk of the valley for a day. I don't even see what's so exciting, it's the same thing every year. Then again, so is everything else. There's a couple at Gustafa's place that I don't mind showing my face at because he's my friend...plus there's music. Then there's that crappy "festival" at the Blue Bar that has no point WHATSOEVER. Why waste our time when we can simply sit at the base of trees, slinking in the shadows and twiddling our thumbs? I'd be more content then, seeing as I'm not the most social person in the world. After all, I really hated my family after what they've done. In fact, I'll just vent about it here.

My dad was an alcoholic. He drank day and night, never gave a damn about what my younger brother and I did, and walked around like a drugged penguin, blabbing about something that doesn't even make sense. Now do you see where my hatred for alcohol comes in? I hate the stuff. Jack reminds me of my father...therefore, I hate him. As a five-year old, I was never consoled in the ways of life. My mom worked full-time to support the family since my father couldn't live for a second without having the taste of beer lingering in his mouth. I thought my dad was drinking for health reasons, like the beer was medicine.

A year later, my father died. I was devastated – I thought he was a good person, that he did no wrong. But at the funeral when everyone was telling me what he had done right, I realized that they weren't shedding any light on his bad side - the one that abused my brother and I. Then again, this was his funeral, so I figured they were there to remember the person he was, not the person he had become.

I was eleven when I ran away from home. My mother had fallen prey to diabetic means and could no longer work as the severity of her conditions forced her out of it. She looked after my nine-year old brother was such care that I was pained to let her have to manage on her own, but I refused to see the bed that my father had slept in. The couch he had spent countless nights drinking on. The sink he had hangovers in. Everything was so painful I turned a dark eye on the world and simply left.

I traveled with what money I had, working servile jobs and trying to support myself, just to rebuild my life. I never had any illusions of grandeur – at the rate my life was going, I wasn't even fit to be in poverty. I was more like "Queen of the Hobos". That wasn't a title I wanted to earn.

A couple of years ago, I came here. At first sight, I thought that it was such a cute place, despite my rough disposition. I was gaunt and looked like someone had randomly tossed me out of a dumpster. But upon checking into the Inn, Tim and Ruby greeted me with such warmth and respect that I realized I had reached my point of exhaustion. I didn't want to travel anywhere else; this valley was my unknown destination...and home.

That's my story. I feel so much looser now that I've gotten that out: D


	4. Fourth of Spring

**Lightning-Dono**: Fweeee...

**Answers to the Reviews **

**Kazumai** – Thank you for the compliments. :D

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Fourth of Spring 

Today was boring as always. In fact, I don't know why I bother writing about my ever-so "eventful" life in here. It's not like there's anything to write about BUT my feelings. I'm just so indifferent these days towards my life and other people...I mean, honestly, sometimes it's like I'm the only one with actual definition -unreasonablerising times, unreasonablebedtimes...Everyonehere always tucks in at 10 or so (Other than Rock,who's usually out walking or "partying" somewere.) and I go in so much later. Then again, I'msuchthe insomniac. Here are my views on people:

Jack: Valley's idiot, no doubt.

Muffy: Pompous flirt.

Celia: Flower-obsessed mommy's girl.

Rock: Fashion freak. He EXPECTS us to idolized him or something.

Ruby: Way-too-nice cook.

Tim: He should own his own travel agency, not an Inn.

Kassey: He could do with some fashion tips from Rock, even.

Patrick: Ditto the above.

Lumina: Whoa, there! Piano Girl!

Vesta: ...Diet.

Marlin: Elvis wannabe.

Nina: She's nice, so I can't complain.

Galen: Grumpy old guy.

Chris: I hardly ever see her – she's always at work. Uh...busy body?

Hugh: Oh God, spawn of the Athletics God!

Wally: THE Athletics God!

Griffin: His drinks are actually nice...

Romana: Nice, but very social. Not my kind of person, y'know?

Sebastian: Being old is no excuse for ugly hair.

Daryl: ...he's nuts. I KNOW IT.

Carter: The guy is pretty cool once you get to know him. He seems to mooch food from people often, though...

Flora: Is digging all she can talk about?

Gustafa: Guitar-wielding menace! No, he's my friend and his music is very good in the Fall...Peaceful and...wow.

Hardy: Weirdo medicine man.

Cody: Artistic!

Van: Perhaps he and Vesta are married...?

End of entry...


	5. Fifth of Spring

**Lightning-Dono**: Thank you so much for the reviews, everyone!

**Answers to the Reviews **

**lil-c-girl2218 **– Don't worry about it, I also like Celia. Actually, I also married her in the game. I'm speaking from Nami's point of view, so don't worry. :)

**RWT** – Sorry about the short-lived chapter before this. It kind of...didn't get elongated. xD I hope this one is longer to fit your taste!

**nasamuffin** – Ah, don't worry! You'll probably get around to playing this game eventually. There are many Harvest Moon fansites out there to check out if you'd like to learn about the characters. ;)

**PacificTwist** – Why, thank you for the compliment! That's very kind of you.

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Fifth of Spring 

Jack is such a DOOFUS. Just mere minutes ago, he knocked on the door and deliberately LET HIMSELF IN without my consent. I said nothing, not a peep, and he simply opened the door. What if I had been undressing? Asleep? Do people like him even practice common courtesy? At the very least, he should've said, "I'm coming in." as a VERY last-minute warning, but no. Two knocks, and whoosh, the door opens and he's standing there. And what's more, after he's done making his appearance, he has the nerve to search the room. Yes, so I'm overreacting and the fact that I never opened up to anyone piqued his curiosity a little. I suppose I can't blame him, but honestly speaking, he needs to learn to respect other people's privacy, and rightfully so.

I just kind of sulked in the corner and glared at him the entire time while he picked THIS DIARY up, flipped through a few pages, and discontentedly left the room. I didn't even struggle, but I didn't want the subject to surface that I was "cold-blooded, had a heart of ice, and was less welcoming than a rearing king cobra". Although I can hardly imagine him using those words (Considering his intelligence), those things come up in random village conversation. I know, I've eavesdropped, I've commented, I've scared those rumor-spreading citizens away.

So far, this appears to be one of the least eventful years I've had to live through in this valley. Sure, there's Jack to bash, watching Muffy use her scandalous ways to seduce Jack, the humble seniors hobbling around...and Gustafa entertaining me with his guitar playing. I love the ethereal music throbbing through the air like...I don't know. It's indescribable – those who try to define music through words only touch less than a corner of the true quality. Cody and his works of art aren't coming along _too_ well, but with what we have in this valley, he'd have to import metals and paints worth millions of gold from across the sea. I'm not quite sure if he already does, but that's none of my business so I shouldn't poke into it like I usually do. Unless I decide to transform into those people who thrive from gossip and mocking other's pain.

For some reason people think I'm vegetarian, which is rather bizarre. Just because I'm laid back and quiet doesn't mean I'm vegan. I couldn't deprive myself of the joys of meat if I tried – I grew up eating meat because my mother and father often gave me it in hopes that I would grow to be strong. Does this mean that vegetarians are frail and weak? Because according to their theory, carnivorous creatures are bigger and stronger than those who feast on plant life. Suffice to say, I'm omnivorous and chose to be that way. But I'll save that for later since no one needs to know my eating patterns and what my eating patterns are categorized as.

Ah, it's nearing midnight as I write. 11:15 PM to be accurate. I just go to bed now and forget about continuing this entry. I mean, honestly. There's nothing to talk about in my life so I chose to talk about my character traits? Is that what diaries are for – confiding such things? Ah well, I'll do that. As a little girl I never had a diary or journal and my parents degraded them by saying them to be "secretive" and a "cowardly escape", but I digress.

Good night.


	6. Sixth of Spring

**Lightning-Dono**: New entry! Nami's age in here isn't precise – I just used what suited her.

**Answers to the Review(s)**

**Horseface** – Ooh, feisty are we now? Needless to say, he's being a jackass because that's his set nature for this specific story. He WILL stop being one later on, but you have to be patient. If you want to read one where Jack is flailing about, toiling away at everyone's whim, then find another fanfic. Apparently, this isn't the one for you. Oh, and a few flaws in your plan: More than likely, you can't find me. Next of all, if I ever took you to court for assault, your only defense would be "She wouldn't make a fanfiction character stop being a jerk". You'll _certainly_ win that one. Also, this is my fanfic. I'm writing this for my own enjoyment and for others who chose to enjoy it also. If you don't like it, read something else. I'm not making you read this.

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Sixth of Spring 

Y'know, I've never put a profile of myself in this thing before. Maybe because I didn't think of all the people who decide to run into my room at miscellaneous times and read it. So here we are, an official profile. Or as official as I can get inside a purple, cover-stretching journal such as this. I can't even classify it as a diary or a journal!

My name is Nami.  
I have aged fifteen years since birth.  
My location is the dull, yet beautiful Forget-Me-Not Valley in an upstairs room on the right-hand side.  
I wear a denim vest, accompanied by a white shirt beneath, shorts that generally vary in color and I wear purple shoes. Some say they look like Contours, but I'm rather fond of sneakers...so that's what they are.  
I have rose red hair that's rather short. My eyes are like sapphires and my lips are rather thin. I have a slim frame that I am quite proud of.  
My favorite kind of music is probably rock and sometimes pop ballads.  
My favorite song as of yet is "Silent Eyes" by Lee Soo Young, a very talented Korean artist.  
My favorite animal...is probably the panther. Sneaky and quiet – just the kind of nature I like. Most likely because it resembles my character.

That seemed more like a personal ad than just some random, elaborate (to some degree) character profile.

Okay, here are the events that ensued today because I'm hasty in getting to bed since it's eleven at night and lately I've been growing sleepy rather early.

-Jack made his move on Muffy! Right infront of my face – it was hilarious! He was approaching her with a flower in the bar. Of course, at the time she was working, so she denied ever knowing him and simply continued cleaning the glasses with a rag that looked a thousand years old. It was clean, yes, but it was ragged and pretty much falling apart at the ends. Jack looked like he was just literally shot down by his love and he left. For once, I actually felt sorry for the poor guy.

-Romana stopped by and asked me if I wanted yet _another_ stray kitten that had wandered to her house. The Inn didn't allow pets, however, so I had to decline. Her reason for offering was that I had been a good friend to her over the past couple of years, which pleased me to no end, but I'm secretly allergic to cats, anyway...

-Cody finished a painting! It's lovely – splattered paint against a canvas of gray (He uses metal for some reason I've never bothered sticking my nose into. Probably because no one else does, so he wanted his work to be original). In fact, the randomly splashed paint was very abstract – it made you wonder what the painting truly held within the various hues of blue, red, yellow, orange, and purple.

-Van sold me some energy drinks this morning. He has rather irregular visiting patterns – he specifies that he comes by on the third and eighth, but he also randomly appears in between...

Either way, I'm dozing off, so as soon as I close this, throw the pen back into it's pencil holder and switch off the light, I'm going to sleep.


	7. Seventh of Spring

**Lightning-Dono**: I'm having tons of fun: D

**Answers to the Review(s)**

**kelley28** – Ah, thank you! I'm flattered that you find it good enough for your favs. o.o If you wish to read more, more you shall get! –types...really really fast-

**BorderWolf** – Thank you! I'm glad that you liked it. You know, I never figured that Nami would ever have a sense of humor, which is scary. She just seems so indifferent about everything.

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Seventh of Spring 

I paid the plantation a visit just a while ago. Everything seems to be doing fine, to say the very least. It's amazing how many turnips can be grown in such a short period of time – I'm awe-struck at their vegetables' will to grow. That sounded horrifically stupid, but being a girl who has her roots in the city, I never did care much for the growing and wills of plants.

Celia and I had a nice chat today. In general, she did most of the talking, but I would insert a few words here and there, so it was mainly her being the chatty one, which was rather unusual for her. The most I had ever seen her talk to was probably to have Vesta consult on seeds, Marlin for placing orders for things from Mineral Town, and the occasional crooning for plants. We were talking about how stupendously arrogant Jack was in terms of farming and his sudden attraction to Muffy. This was only the first season and already he was singling out choice brides for himself instead of worrying about his farm. And I quote from Celia:

"Because we're kind of...ummm...rival farms in the valley, I always walk by his farm when I'm not working to see how it's doing it. So far, it doesn't look quite as prosperous as when his father had tended to it. His cow is never out grazing, the grass in his fields are as tall as trees in a rainforest, and he's never on the farm. In the mornings when I'm tending to the vegetables I see him leave the farm and he comes back at around nine, sometimes even later."

So far, I can conclude that his farm is lacking in quality and his work on it is poor. I'm not at all surprised, however. A spoiled, city-boy like him shouldn't even be working on a farm by himself. If he ever marries Muffy, their level of farming skills would go hand in hand since I doubt Muffy has ever even watered a single plant. Unless Jack is having some demented idea that Muffy is a working-class woman and would kindly do all the work for him. Personally, I think he would be better off with someone like Celia who doesn't mind work.

-

Okay, it's night now. Get this, Jack offered me a jar of milk just an hour ago when I was trying to get into the Inn. He just _wouldn't_ get out of my way and he kept shoving it in my face, like he was trying to prove something. All he would say it, "You always give me dirty looks when I'm around, so I want to show you that I can actually produce something and I'm not such a bad guy." He's amazingly persistent, and I would have said just that, but remembering what Muffy did to him the other day, I decidednot to make his day any more miserable. So I took it, more to have him get out of the way than make him happy. Right now, it's on my desk and I'm afraid to drink it. Perhaps I'll just hand it over to Ruby so she can use it in her cooking...but if I leave it out for too long, it'll become spoiled so I might as well try it. Tomorrow, perhaps, as the lavender scent Ruby sprayed in my room when she was cleaning it is quite strong and it's making my nostrils ache. I think I'll go out for another short walk to get some fresh air. It's only eight, afterall.


	8. Eighth of Spring

**Lightning-Dono**: I'm back with another entry...from Nami. Who else? xD

**Answers to the Review(s) **

**PacificTwist** – Thank you! Nah, I only update fast because the entries for this fic are pretty short! And it's easy to write from her point of view, all I need to do is pretend to be pissed all the time and it comes out easy. xD Muffy's diary probably will be like that...! Every entry would be about her dropping glasses and dishes left and right, getting fired, crying...Erm, I'll stop there.

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Eighth of Spring 

Oh. My. Effing. Gawd. Jack's milk is absolutely as atrocious as his attitude! After my walk yesterday, I dropped by the Inn's kitchen so I could put it in the refrigerator there for today. Well, I woke up this morning, decided to have some breakfast, and grabbed some granola. To accompany the granola, I pulled out the milk to drink as it would only seem reasonable. It tasted more or less like curdling, spoiled soy milk. It was sour with this bizarre sweetness mixed in it, and (get this), it was so outrageously thick it nearly clogged my throat up. What in the world was he trying to do, kill me? I think after that experience, I may as well boycott dairy products.

Anyway, at around maybe three today, I was walking towards the bar from Vetsa's place and there was this piercing scream coming from Jack's farm. For a second, I had a morbid vision of him getting mauled by an enraged cow (Specifically his, since he never actually takes care of it.), but I decided to run up and take a look anyway. On the way, I decided that the scream was too girly to be his.

It was Muffy, standing against the wall of Jack's tool shed looking like she had just been seen by a cop. Jack's dog was barking at her madly (He's such a tiny thing, too!) and she looked TERRIFIED. Let's just say that this was a major turn off on Jack's part. He seemed highly disappointed by this and he simply ran up, shooed the dog away, and upon noticing me lurking around Takakura's house, he ushered her off by the chicken coop and they started conversing in hushed voices. I'm thoroughly convinced now that they like each other...but not enough for Jack to scream at his dog for attacking his lover. Either way, now I know what Muffy is afraid of. No, I'm not thinking of blackmail, but possible revenge should she ever do anything rash to me. Not like I'd sink that low as to get revenge on a girl who can't do anything but drop dishes, scream, and weep, but she can change...

It was pretty rainy today, but Van came without fail, and I bought another TurboJolt from him, just to boost his spirits. He looked so sad standing there beneath a flimsy, stripped booth with no one buying the things he was putting out for purchase. It must be pretty hard to be an unappreciated traveling salesman, so I try to buy things from him whenever I get the chance.

Lumina's piano practice isn't getting any better - she sounds like she's been stuck on the same few lines since the end of last year. For most of last year she had studied her scales vigorously and whenever I entered the mansion she wouldn't even turn a head because she was concentrating so hard on the notes. So far, from my observations, she can play through most of the minor scales, all of the major scales, and now she's working on a song that seems to be taking forever to learn. You think that practicing a few hours everyday for a season and a half would get her somewhere, yet she still trips over a few notes. Oh well, I'm fairly sure that by the end of this year she'll improve. I hope. I don't know how much longer I can stand by the fountain or by the staircase listening to her play the same two phrases over and over.

Speaking of music, Gustafa's placed an order for more sheet music from Van, so he's hoping to receive it sometime at the beginning of summer. I cannot WAIT to hear what he's got in store for the rest of the valley with his guitar!

My wrist is getting tired, so I'll stop now.


	9. Ninth of Spring

**Lightning-Dono**: Fweee, another entry from Nami has been written!

**Answers to the Reviews **

**lil-c-girl-2218** – Thanks! I don't like Muffy either (obviously). She just seems so...ugh. xx;;

**Sikerra the Eternity Knight** – Thanks much! Sure, I'll update. It's hard not to when you write a story like this. :D

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Ninth of Spring 

The summer heat is settling in – thank goodness that each season only lasts ten days. I detest summer weather; it's always so sunny and I tend to sunburn easily, which doesn't bode well for my health. Especially since there's a risk for skin cancer involved, so I usually hang out in the Blue Bar or beneath a tree. Even as I write this, my skin is flaking. Not a pretty sight – where has all the humidity gone? I'll ask Dr. Hardy to brew up some of his moisturizing lotion for me like he does every summer. It's been tradition since I first moved here since my skin also dries fairly easily, especially in extreme heat.

This is a fairly random comment, but Dr. Hardy's energy-boosting drinks don't taste that great (Perhaps that's why he gives them to Van to sell so Van gets framed for the horrible taste.). It's reminiscent of Chinese herbal medicine with a bit of sugar and sparkling water. I suppose the only cooking I can trust now is Ruby's.

Guess what (this has to be the biggest news all day). After about a season of being stuck inside a barn, Jack's cow has emerged from the abyss Jack has designated as it's "home". And, as expected, it looked malnutritioned and lost within the jungle of grass. If he doesn't cut that field of his soon I swear I'm going to go over there and hack it all down for him until there's only a millimeter of it left sticking out of the ground. Nature is a beautiful thing, but in Jack's case, what he thinks is making his farm look better is making it more of an eyesore than it originally was. What the heck is Takakura doing all this time? Isn't it supposed to be HIS job to look over the farm in general?

And a new revelation has been revealed about our appallingly lazy farmer: he _cooks_. He was staring at me in this bizarre way when he walked by me this afternoon, cradling an orange bowl in his hands and using his horrifically dirty gloves to pick lettuce out of the bowl and stuff it into his abnormally large mouth. The Goddess knows where his hands have been and I'm immorally afraid of him now. Although it's quite sinful of me, I'm hoping for him to fall sick from eating in unsanitary conditions. It'd serve him right.

In other news...Muffy is infatuated with Jack, to say the very least. She's even stopped working her regular shift (Which, may I also add, she has maintained for the past two years I have lived here.) to pretty much _stalk_ him. Wherever he goes, I've noticed, she goes. And apparently she's gotten the hang of his schedule as whenever he goes to the bar, she's standing right by the door trying to look miserable so he can ask her what's wrong. She is clearly taking advantage of his warm-hearted ways and he simply doesn't notice.

He could learn a lesson from being with her – never trust overzealous women lusting for love.

I believe in the quote "A woman's feelings change as quickly as the autumn sky" (I'm fairly sure that's how it goes, anyhow. I'm fairly rusty in the area of memorizing quotes.) and Muffy's feelings are doing just the same. One day she's looking at Jack through narrow eyes, evaluating what a sleaze he is and aday later she's going in and out of his farm like it's her own house. I have yet to see her disapproval of his obnoxious habits, unless she finds them all to be cute.

I also believe that Jack is taking over my diary. But either way, I'll stop now since Ruby's stopping by again for room service.


	10. Tenth of Spring

**Lightning-Dono**: Another chapter from yours truly. :3

**Answers to the Review(s)**

**Sikerra the Eternity Knight** – Thanks! Muffy in three words: Clueless, slutty airhead. I don't think she can farm to save her life. But that's just my opinion...No problem with the updating – I've got all the time in the world.

**lil-c-girl2218** – Thank you! I'm glad you liked that line. :) I know, the doctor IS weird! And what's up with his eye? I mean, it's like some kind of ore with a red...thing in it. Yes, you WILL have to wait. xD Because Jack (I dunno, I call Todd Jack to...yeah.) is trying to make everyone like him and Nami thinks he's just fun to look at. So, yes, you will have to wait for character development. Sorry!

--

Tenth of Spring 

I woke up this morning groggy, feeling like I had just nearly drowned, and I had no clue why. Perhaps I shouldn't have taken that walk in the rain last night – I couldn't find any reason to go to sleep without tiring myself out first since I find it extremely hard to sleep if I don't occupy myself with energy-sucking activities beforehand. I tried to leave the Inn, but Ruby said my skin was as pallid as a slate and that I should stay in bed...and that's where I've been ever since. Right now it's one in the afternoon and I'm bored out of my mind. Luckily, I have a window that overlooks the street and whomever is walking along it. Not like I care about those people anyway, but when it came down to it, I'm bored and I have nothing to do so I'm going to see what they're doing.

Well, Wally is jogging in what looks like slow motion. I hate it when he jogs like that; it looks like he's seemingly defying gravity and levitating inches above the ground before landing. Hugh is following in his father's footsteps and jogging right along with those slender, short legs of his.

But I feel like writing suddenly. It's one of those urges you can't put off.

The sun is making a slow transition into a summer's sun. Already, through a shield of glass, I can feel the warmth lancing onto my arms as I sit here, immobilized by sickness. The rays grow intense as they dash onto the leaves of trees, turning them different shades of green – the recipe to true healthiness for the plants that are yearning for sunlight. The ground lies still, a stationary air hanging heavily over it. People make their way long the road, lively and preparing for the rest of the long day. But I sit here, remaining spectator to these events as fever reigns heavy over my drowsy mind...

You know, I was always told back in elementary school that I had the potential to be a writer, but I never paid any heed. All I thought was, "It's just words coming from my head. There's nothing special about them, I was just gifted a mind brimming with figurative speech." But when I had come to this valley and met Gustafa and Cody (True artists), Gustafa taught me the strength of words with song lyrics as the example and Cody taught me the importance of emotions conveyed within the piece.

I agree, this diary is a collection of rambling, rants, and paragraphs that seldom link to one another. But, I think that as long as my intentions are good, the piece is worthwhile. I suppose with that speech I could be an English professor at a university, but I don't even know what career I want. Perhaps I can be a traveling mummer, going to exotic places, performing my specific art and exercising my talents. My problem is that...unless I become a storyteller, there isn't much for me to perform.

Once I get better, I'll pass on the idea to Gustafa and Cody. They might support the idea and perhaps come with me. But because I'm sick right now, I wouldn't count on it. I'm probably entering a stage of delirium, knowing the advanced diseases wandering about these days.

Back to those people walking.

Well, apparently, right now Muffy is in pursuit of Jack. He's running down the street, mocking Wally's jog, and Muffy looks like she's trying to catch up with him in her heels and tiny steps. Honestly, she looks like a gigantic baby waddling along after her father, or something of the sort...comparisons were never a strong point of mine. I'm not quite sure whether or not Jack is running from Muffy, playing tag with her, or simply teasing her by escaping her tight grasp.

At the moment, it seems that she's caught up and now she has her arms wrapped around his neck...I can feel the aura of danger pulsing in the air as her hug tightens and Jack takes on the position of a man being strangled in a drunken battle. He's shoving her off quickly, turning red, and trying to tell her something. But being the complete bubble-head she is, Muffy looks like she's trying to laugh this incident off and make amends with Jack. What an idiot. I don't think I can watch this inane feud any longer, especially when Muffy is involved. What in the world is she doing? First she chokes her boyfriend and then she acts like it's nothing? A long while ago, in a conversation with Romana, she said with today's youth, she wonders what the world is coming to. I can answer that question by "The world is plummeting to its doom" and "It is plummeting to its doom due to the senseless actions of certain sentient beings".

My first candidate with an action fitting of plummeting the world to its doom would be Muffy.

I think I'll go back to sleep. My wrist is getting tired, my eyes are tired from straining themselves to see outside through glaring sunlight, and my body is tired in general.


	11. First of Summer

**Lightning-Dono**: Here I am again! xDDD I'm intent on finishing this fanfic...all forty freaking chapters. Oh, and I included a note in the first chapter for those Muffy fans. :)

**Answers to the Reviews **

**RWT** – No problem. –grin- Her entries vary in length because like in my personal journal, sometimes I feel like writing more on some days than others. I don't know, it just happens. xD But this one is short. :)

**lil-c-girl2218 **– No no, feel free to call him anything you like. Todd, Jack, Bob, Joe...I don't mind. xD At this point, you can't really tell what's going on since Jack seems to like Muffy but he's also making an attempt (to a degree) to impress Nami...which is scary.

--

First of Summer 

If I were interviewed today, a choice question the interviewer would ask me would be, "How does it feel to have a cold when it's burning hot?" My answer would be furious shivering that I'm trying to keep under control and a shaky, "It sucks."

Why? Because that's the exact scenario I'm living through not, minus the intruding interviewer and the crew of cameramen zooming in on my every feature available for filming. "Ever feature available" being my hair since I'm all curled up beneath a steaming blanket, feeling like I was just bathed in ice. For some reason, I can still somewhat write, except it's extremely hard. I swear this paragraph took me five minutes to write, maybe even more. If only the stupid, decorative clock on the wall would actually work.

If you've never believed Ruby to be the motherly type for whatever reason, you still have time to change your mind. Ever since this morning when she came up to check on me when I slept until noon (This is messing up my schedule.), she woke me up and asked how I was feeling. The first thing I said was, "My head is throbbing with fever." The second thing I said was, "Aren't you going to cook today?" when she set up stand right by my bedside, fully equipped with a small tub of cold water, cloth, thermometers, and medicine. The last thing I said to her was, "Thanks." when she put a cool cloth on my forehead. And now she's dozed off at her post (I'm not quite sure how long she's sat there.), so I can dive under my covers and write.

Okay, now I'm shaking like mad. I'll write more later.

Now it's five, or so Ruby says. She just brewed some chicken soup and she brought it up to me a while ago...I never thought I'd appreciate chicken soup more – it actually does make you feel a little better. Most UNLIKE Jack's milk, which might be the indirect cause of my illness. I am ever so tempted to poison him, but that's not the point. Atleast I'm not shivering like a sheep stripped of its wool anymore.

Hardy visited me this morning and gave me an energy drink for free...I appreciate it, but I'm not in the mood to drink disgusting things at the moment...it might nauseate me.

And as I sit here in bed, continuing to gaze out the window, I still wonder if Muffy has launched any more barbaric attacks on Jack. At the rate she's going at him, I wouldn't surprised if there's a funeral service for him anytime soon.


	12. Second of Summer

**Lightning-Dono**: Another chapter. :) Hmmm...I made this in April and I don't think I updated much when I made it then. xD Well, I'm making up for that now. By the way, I have Writers Block, so don't expect much.

**Answers to the Review(s)**

**PacificTwist** – Oh no, it's fine! Don't worry about late reviews – I love them all and I appreciate you chipping into your rough schedule to read other fanfics and, of all of them, this. –tears- Thank you so much!

**lil-c-girl2218** – I hate being sick period. O.o I have a horrible immune system (I'm cursed with my mom's immune system. Eep.), so I get sick every few months and it's so ANNOYING. Good luck getting revenge on Jack! xD;

**Sikerra the Eternity Knight** – Why, thank you. –mounts a cross on story- Then again, I'm not Christian, so forget that. xD Nuuu, no poisoning! Not now...

--

Second of Summer 

I'm feeling a whole lot better today, thanks to tip-top immune system and the constant (Almost) vigil of Ruby who lovingly provided me with excessive amounts of chicken soup. Which brings me to wonder where the hell she got all of those poor chickens from. Possibly from Mineral Town? That place is very lively – I love the environment it poses for visitors. Everyone is so friendly and close-knit, when you first arrive you feel left out. But before long...you're friends with everyone. It's sad that I had to leave, but I couldn't stand the ever-social neighbors and the constant knocking on the Inn door for what I wanted for breakfast, lunch, snacks and dinner. I mean, when I want to eat, I'll come right down there and place an order! Geez...

Ruby said that I could walk around outside today, but only if I didn't overdo myself, so off I went. As usual, people noticed my absence over the past couple of days, but all they did as I passed by was stare, as though my face had all the answers. In general, I try to keep a poker face for those things – therefore, they'll never know. Apparently the only people who cared were Cody and Gustafa for the moment they saw me, they rushed up and interrogated me on my life during the past couple of days. And, to my dismay, Jack also noticed. Fairly observant for a guy who can't even realize that his field is supposed to be half the size it is now.

The meeting wasn't as disastrous as I had expected, but he just ran up to me and asked me why I was gone. Here's the conversation as I remember it. And since I have an excellent memory, it should be very accurate, save for a few words.

Jack: "So, where were you for the past couple days?"  
Me: "Why would you need to know this?"  
Jack: "Just curious. Besides, there's nothing to do."

At this point in time, I was thinking, "Really? How about..._chopping your field down to it's correct size?_" But I didn't say that.

Me: "That must be tough." (Rather sarcastically, I must add.)  
Jack: "Yes. So where you been?"

I was tempted to give him a lesson in proper speech and grammar, but I decided to let it slide if he was trying out new accents.

Me: "I was sick."  
Jack: "With what?"

I just about gave up on him right then and decided to tell him everything, just to get him to go away.

Me: "The cold. Probably a bug or something. Now, please go back to working on your farm." (It could use the work.)  
Jack: "Why don't you ever want to talk to me?" (At last, he has reverted back to his native style of speech.)

This line struck me speechless – what was I supposed to say that didn't sound like a kid on a playground who was unwilling to share his usual space under the slides.

Me: "Will you just leave? Please? I'm trying to have some time to myself here without people bothering me."  
Jack: "Then how come you let Cody and Gustafa talk to you? Seems like you just hate me."  
Me: "Hate isn't quite the right word, plus Cody and Gustafa have been my friends for a very long time now."  
Jack: "Then what would be the right word?" (He completely ignored the rest of my statement, I believe.)  
Me: "If you can take this without crying, I'm _disgusted_ in you."  
Jack: "Why?" (He sounded so much like a little kid I actually wanted to lower the tension and just leave. However, my more violent side was urging me on to smack him in the face.)  
Me: "You...just think about it. Go look at your cow, for God's Sake! Then milk it and drink it's milk! Okay? Got it? Bye."

That's when I left. I felt dreadful, telling him something like that, but he should eventually learn the truth. What he thinks is benefiting the rest of the valley is actually allowing it to deteriorate slowly. Sometimes I wonder how others going to other cities talk about where they come from.

"Oh, the valley I come from is absolutely GORGEOUS, not unlike this place. It thrives on music, mainly guitars, and we have very diverse personalities wandering about. There's a scholar and his apprentice that set up an archaeological site. He's really a nice guy, I see him often. And then there's this melancholy bar tender that often strums on his guitar that makes the most irresistible drinks available for miles around. A rich old woman who lives in a villa...oh, and a nonentity farmer who is the laziest bum I've ever met and insists on wooing this one blonde chick..."

Honestly, our reputation is slowly falling apart. But that's not of any concern to me since I'll be leaving soon, anyway. Probably at the end of this year. Despite the fact that people think I'm cold-hearted, I really do love Gustafa. If he proposes to me at the end of the year, I'll be sure to stay for as long as he'd like.

I'll end the entry here. There's not much left to say.


	13. Third of Summer

**Lightning-Dono**: **Horseface**, I BEG you to read the reply I wrote below. Please do it. I'm tired of you trying to change something you CAN'T. I apologize for Jack being such a lazy-ass, but he'll get better. I PROMISE you guys.

I still have Writers Block, so this chapter...isn't that good. It sounds more like ME than Nami.

**Answers to the Reviews **

**Sikerra the Eternity Knight **– Gustafa is awesome! I love his laid-back attitude and stuff. He's just such a great guy to be around. : D Thank you! -smiles- I had fun with that conversation.

**RWT** – Tee-hee, Muffy might've wrung his neck by now. We wouldn't know. xD

**lil-c-girl2218** – Fweee, I support Gustafa x Nami: ) I'm getting the girl version of FoMT. They're both coming out on July 26th in the US! Yay! And in less than a week, teh 6th Harry Potter arrives: D Jack doesn't have a courage to taste his milk. o.o

**Horseface** – Note: Please refer to my reply in chapter 6. No, I was NOT kidding. Do you EVER learn your lesson? If you hate the way Jack's acting, go read another fanfic where he's a goody-two shoes! If you must know, he WILL shape up later, and it's not going to be now! Or do you not have the courage to make an account and write about Jack's "good, angelic side"? And if you honestly want to know, threats won't do anything. You can't touch me. Get a life and stop pretending you can reach through people's computer screens.

**PacificTwist** – Thank you! That conversation was fun to write. I will keep up the good work, and thanks again!

**Gia Lupin** - Thank you very much! And I hope so too...Writers Block sucks.

**PenAngel** - Thank you to the highest degree of thanks available! (Wow, that was fun to type. xD) I might make a new journal for her for the second year as well, but we'll see. Maybe for another character?

--

Third of Summer 

In my last entry, I said that I loved Gustafa. Well, ten years later if I read this, I'd have no clue why I loved him, so here and now, I'm putting down why. It's only reasonable since...you have to have reasons to fall in and out of love. Human emotions are highly unstable, especially in the face of sentiments, but when it all comes down to it...it's either you love or you don't. It doesn't have to be understood, but you always seem to know when you feel the overwhelming swell of emotions whenever they say hi, flash you a grin, or when you are forced to part with them. But enough of this and onto the list; it's short, but you don't need that many reasons to love someone. It develops are you go along.

Gustafa is wonderfully chivalrous. No one believes it because of his laid-back, hardly social nature, but he is. Whenever I see him, he'll great me graciously and he won't hesitate to question about how I am. Not once have I seen him insult a person and everything about his personality radiates "I am loving!". That was the scariest description I've written yet, but it's true.

He loves music. The first time I had ever met him, walking down the hill into this peaceful valley (Minus Muffy's obvious attempts to murder people.), the first thing I laid eyes on was a farm that had some plants growing in their fields. The next thing I laid my eyes on was a abstractly decorated hut and a lightly bearded man squatted by it, spilling notes into the air with his guitar. I have always been vaguely fond of music, but after I made friends with him, I grew to appreciate its wonders more. I sound so...mushy right now, but it's really how I feel about this man. Speaking about him is enough to send me into a dreamland.

He's very easygoing. Being around him cleanses me of all tensions and worries...it's just, well, magical. No, this is still me talking, and I'm not speaking of Cinderella. Gustafa is simply a beautiful person every way you look at it.

His attire, plain and simple. Although I myself am misanthropic and like to blend into the crowd, to simply not be noticed, he just sticks out to me right away. I generally don't feel an attraction to people who jump onto bandwagons (That doesn't mean I do, though.), but Gustafa can start his own fashion line alone. The green, elf-like hat with a flower mounted on top, the shirt, the pants, the purple shades...it's just so _him_. There's no other way to describe it.

Done and over with that. I love him _period_. It hurts to much to not be able to open up and tell him how I feel, but I constantly have a cap over my feelings that kind of...shadows everything that I feel and keeps it away from others. Maybe that's a good thing, but at other times it's not.

Back to daily life. I'm feeling MUCH better now, and everything is back to normal. Except I am now left with a memory of the sickness – a devastatingly loud cough that turns heads, which isn't what I planned to be gifted with. Either way, Ruby isn't quite as concerned about my health anymore, so she just lets me go out for as long as I'd like. As long as it's not raining, that is.

Jack is keen on seeking out a new bride after the incident with Muffy. Apparently, he doesn't seem to like her anymore in any way, shape, or form. Frankly, he seems to be trying to _avoid_ her, a clear felony in Muffy's book. Every moment she gets of her day, she'll try the puppy dog eye treatment on him, the "I'm lonely" ploy, and the stalking act. In general, as far as I'm concerned, he doesn't give a crap. I'm tempted to cheer him on, since Muffy has to be one of the tougher people to be acquainted with. If you try to befriend her, she'll think that you plan on being best friends with her and cling to your side day and night, which is a pretty pathetic character trait to have. The sad thing is that when I first arrived in Forget-Me-Not Valley, I had actually tried to become her friend through my frequent visits to the bar. However, she turned out to be a total fraud – trying to charge me more money for drinks behind Griffin's back because I'm her "friend" and if I were, I'd pay her more money because she's so poor. Then she'd hang around me constantly – for a while, people supposed that we were inseparable, but it was generally her attached to me.

Anyhow, it looks like Jack has hacked down a BIT of his field, which is improvement for someone like him whom I expected to sit around and let it grow towards the sky. Atleast his cow is starting to fill up a little more (A little food goes a long way, I must say.) and gain some meat on her frail skeleton structure.

Carter has taken to constructing small signs pointed towards the archaeology site as it's highly overlooked by the majority of the valley, seeing as it's secluded in a small corner of the valley. He's beseeching that if anyone wishes to help him find rare items for him to study to feel free to. Naturally I went and spent about two hours digging around. All I got in return were a few skulls, fractured hip bones of some creature (I'm hoping that it's not human, although that is very likely.), and a Moon Ore. Carter was pleased with the progress – he was practically beaming at me as I stood there, shoving an unwanted hip bone into his face. All I achieved was having him let me keep all of those items and a thank you that was a little short of a speech. Either way, I have the Moon Ore on my desk right now and it's gleaming in the light. I love the cyan blue tones blended in with crystalline, milky white...it's lovely.

As it is growing late, I'll write more tomorrow.


	14. Fourth of Summer

**Lightning-Dono**: Sorry about my slowly diminishing pace in updates! I've been spending less and less time on the computer to engage in other activities (Such as returning to practicing flute and reading!) so...I apologize! Nami's a little OOC in this one because...I'm not quite sure why.

**Answers to the Reviews **

**Sikerra the Eternity Knight** – Gustafa's an awesome person. -smile-

**PenAngel** – Thank you for the suggestions! Don't worry, Nami isn't going to remain a cold-blooded wanderer FOREVER. I'm trying to slowly allow the better, more passionate side of her emerge without making it seem too sudden. Really? I've never tried to marry Nami before, so I don't have much of an idea of what she's like once she's softened up. But thank you! I'll refrain from bashing Horseface. -controlled smile-

**RWT** – Well, sometimes that can be the case. Sure, it's a extremely hard to fall out of love and can even be considered impossible, but hey, it does happen. xD Yesh, Muffy the Murderer...I love alliterations. :D

**Gia Lupin** – Tee-hee! Thank you very much! I'm glad you appreciated the Gustafa and Nami...mush. xD Thanks for the encouragement – sometimes I wonder what is WITH him...

**lil-c-girl2218** – Harry Potter has to be one of the greatest series around. :) I'm glad you like him FINALLY caring for the farm and edging his way from Muffy! It's the first step to life improvement. xD

**Inusgrl90** – Thank you and I appreciate the fact that you pointed out the mistake...I must've been thinking of the Harvest Sprites. xD

**Ryuchan13** – Thank you very much! I'm sure that your stories are excellent and I hope you become an aspiring writer! Don't worry about it; you've got plenty of time to get better – good luck!

--

Fourth of Summer 

You know, at first if I had said this last season, I would never have believed myself, but now I can say it without regret (Hopefully). Jack is actually shaping up to be a fairly decent farmer. I'm not quite sure what caused this sudden transformation, but apparently it turns out that he's actually learning how to hoe the soil and plant seeds. And frankly, it's about time he learned how since I didn't feel like hanging around much longer and looking at his miserable farm and Takakura passing by the fields, casting them looks of indistinct disgust. The Goddess knows he could use some help, but surprisingly, he's taking on the challenge himself, which is a pure embodiment of bravery, since it's looking impossible from where I'm standing. But Jack's pretty persistent, so I'm quite sure he'll pull through, even if it means starving himself day and night and having the doctor live at his house. The only issue is that he's not a person who plans to work and rot away on a farm for the rest of his life, despite Takakura's convincing speech about it being his destiny. Even though his farm is now prospering to a degree, he still spends plenty of his time giving things away that he should be selling and making failed cooking to distribute widely among us. Thusfar, I am quite sure that atleast four people, namely Rock, Lumina, Kassey, and Patrick, have suffered food poisoning at his hands, probably because they're too senseless and kind to refuse the offer. And rather brave to even put the food inside their mouth. At the moment, I'm seeing Jack to be somewhat a copy of Rock – always taking the time to party before working.

Speaking of Jack, I happened to witness a very interesting conversation between he and Muffy this afternoon...which was naturally spurred by the raging queen suffering from rejection: Muffy. I was lurking around the small patch if dirt the Inn uses to plant vegetables, gazing up the flourishing leaves in one of the trees when a horrendously perky voice said something behind me. In general, it just got highly interesting from there...

Muffy: "Jack..." (She sounded like she was mourning someone, honestly.)  
Jack: "What is it?"  
Muffy: "Why don't you ever talk to me anymore?"

There was a brief silence here, in which Jack is placed in the same demonically frustrating situation I was when he had cornered me the last time. Apparently, now he's feeling the pressure and I doubt he'll want to put anyone else under it ever again.

Jack: "Because."

That had to be the most childish answer in the book. What kind of mature man says, "Because" when he answers a pressing question?

Muffy: "But why? Every time I turn around you're always looking the other way. Is it because you hate me?"  
Jack: (in an offhanded tone) "That could be a reason."  
Muffy: "Why would you hate me, though? Is it because I'm not the kind of person you like?"

Great, how smart was she? Now she was leaving herself open and vulnerable by providing him reasons to despise her. But with Jack, you really never have a choice _but_ to do something like that.

Jack: "Well...Uh...That's not _quite_ it..."  
Muffy: "Is there something wrong with me? Should I change the way I dress?"

I couldn't quite imagine her wearing anything other than revealing dresses, but I decided to stay quiet while they discussed this.

Jack: "No...I just...don't like you."  
Muffy: "But you said that you loved me!" (I never realized her voice could get so high, squeaky, and whiny.)  
Jack: "Yes, well that was a season ago."

As much as I dislike Muffy, I couldn't believe the pain and shock that just stayed plastered on her face. The same went for me, except more shock than pain. How could Jack reject her in such a spirit-pulverizing way? Muffy looked like she had just watched Jack break, smash, and stomp on her heart. Even though I had seen Jack to be careless, I had never expected him to be such a heartless bastard.

Muffy: "Jack...why?" (At this point, tears were absolutely STREAMING down her face.)  
Jack: "Because maybe I'm not as dedicated so my lovers as I seem. Maybe I'm just growing up, Muffy, I don't know."

He's damn right he's just growing up, because I have never met such an awful person, with the exception of my father.

Muffy: "Really...really...fine then. I should just go."

And she just left...crying; and Jack didn't even bother stopping her. He was the absolute low from my point of view, and I was actually tempted to go comfort Muffy. But not to the extent in which I ACTUALLY did...However, it would've been nice to see Muffy smack him across the face with the back of her hand, since he would have deserved it.

I had a long talk with Griffin at around five this evening and he said that Muffy's attitude had changed drastically since she had encountered Jack and even more so since this afternoon. Apparently, she refused to talk about it and had locked herself up in her "Girls Only" room. Griffin says that this has happened more times than he could count and that Muffy never really learned her lesson by being dumped. She just kept playing hard-to-get until a guy of her taste actually came along before she would realize he wasn't really for her and go back to her old game. It was a matter of learning her lesson, and since she never did, I don't think I can help her even if I tried. Especially since she's insanely stubborn.

But ultimately, that was the only eventful thing that occurred all day. Other than Tim's sudden interest in tofu products upon taking a single sip of Jack's wretched milk, Rock rearranging his room (Which caused the upstairs corridor to be blocked all day with furniture while he figured out what he wanted his room to look like. You'd think he'd think of it beforehand.), and Lumina perhaps actually playing an extra note in her music.

G'night.


	15. Fifth of Summer

**Lightning-Dono**: Hi, everyone: D Um...I have nothing more to say. xD Sorry about the updates! It's...ugh...I got the Harry Potter book on Saturday and I sat around and read, and read, and read...along with some other books I bought at the bookstore. –smile-

Answers to the Reviews 

**PenAngel** – Ah, really? I should make a new file and start trying to make Nami more friendly based on that, since all I have are everyone's insights on her instead of getting the information first-hand...But thank you for the compliments AND info! It helps a lot to know Nami is really like and channeling that into her diary. :)

**Sikerra the Eternity Knight** – Thanks! Yeah, Muffy does kind of make you want to feel sympathetic right there for her, doesn't she? I mean, if you were in her shoes...ouch.

**Horseface** – No problem; I'm really glad that you realize that...o.o I forgive: D I can't hold a grudge even if I tried, plus you admitted to having a bad temper, so I don't mind. I know lots of people with...half-length fuses.

**BorderWolf** – Okay! Nami doesn't seem like such an oddly mean person, but you know...oh well, she's slowly calming herself down, making herself a part of society...you know. Thanks!

**Gia Lupin** – Lol, I suppose so. Does F Milk even exist...?

**tip** – I'm sorry! In the next couple seasons, I'm going to make you want to hug Nami. xD Don't worry about it, she'll get better. Besides, you would get tired, too, if you spend mornings listening to Lumina play the same few lines over and over...

**lil-c-girl2218** – Evil computers should die! Because I believe I also have an evil computer and I know exactly where you're coming from. Well, Jack is kind of...ugh...right now. I wonder what he was like in the CITY with MORE girls...? 

**Master Toku** – Wow, I have managed to reel in yet another reader! –grins- Okay, ignore my egotistical ways. Yes, Nami is an excellent character to write as! The prospect of writing from someone's point of view whose personality is completely the opposite of mine is rather invigorating. It gives me the chance to see the world from another side. I'm doing the entire year. : D

**RWT** – She'll find love soon enough. xD

--

Fifth of Summer 

After Jack dumped Muffy, I've been under the suspicion that he was starting to go after _me_...That made me feel horrifically uncomfortable, especially with the upcoming of Fall and such. I didn't feel much need to spend every waking day of my favorite season hanging around a big buffoon like him. But this doesn't remain an unjustified suspicion, since I have an event that occurred today to back up that doubtful feeling.

The moment I stepped out of the Inn today, Jack was standing dab smack right infront of the door, leaving me about one foot to walk and little time for reaction. In fact, when I first opened the door, he was right there, breathing into my face in the mock imitation of a buffalo sniffing female pheromones. And frankly...this put a start to my somewhat horrible day. Naturally, I told him to kindly step aside and allow me some room to walk...and I wasn't harsh about it either, which was a whole new step in my book. As soon as I cleared the vicinity of the Inn, I realized that he was tagging along behind me, holding what looked like smoldering rice with random chunks of burnt fish...and to seal my doom, this set was also complete with a stainless steel spoon. So much for being a good cook. You wouldn't believe what happened next.

I had watched many showdowns in which Jack would graciously offer Muffy some food bearing the resemblance of charcoal and if she refused nervously, he would accept that and leave. However, he lacked respect for my opinions, apparently, because he actually cornered me against the well and tried to force-feed the mush to me. His reason?

"You always have hated me! Can you just chill out and see my good side for once? If you taste this, you'll see that!"

My retaliation?

"If I tasted that, I can only suppose that I'll loathe you even more."

I had always seen Jack as a guy who could actually exercise some self-restraint, but the next thing he did proved me wrong. Oblivious to the passerby, who stared at us as though we were nuts, he pinned me down, had me half-leaning over the well, and threatened me. The platter of blackened rice was shattered on the cobbled ground...as far as I could tell. I could not _believe_, and I still can't believe, that he actually did that to me. How did I let him advance so far? Why did I let him do that? Either way, he still had me leaning precariously over the edge. Our exchanged words:

Jack: "Nami...let me ask you something."  
Me: "Fire away."  
Jack: "Why is it that WHENEVER I see you, talk to you, even bother being in your presence, you act like I'm nothing?"  
Me: "Do you really need an explanation for that?"  
Jack: "Yes." (His breathing was fast and hard enough to propel a helicopter into the air at this point.)  
Me: "Please let me go and I'll tell you."  
Jack: "You'll just leave, I know it."

Wow, smart. He should know by now that I generally go by what I say, even if the situation is as life threatening as it is now. After all, I shared no desire in plummeting down a well. But Jack was leaning right over me and if I somehow started tumbling down, I would've taken him down with me.

Me: "I won't, I promise."

He let me go at that point. For some reason, I felt like walking away just to make fun of his trusting ways, but I didn't.

Jack: "Tell me."  
Me: "Why do you keep asking me these things?"  
Jack: "Because." (For some reason, he turned red.)  
Me: "It's because of your nature. Don't you care about anything? What you did to Muffy was just as rude as what you did to me a few seconds ago. Just because you can take advantage of someone doesn't mean you should, you know."  
Jack: "What I did to Muffy was none of your business!"  
Me: "It's as much my business as the next person's. What I'm getting at is that when people are nice to you, you should just leave it that way and stop pestering them for reasons OR trying to assault them – mentally and physically!"  
Jack: "You're not nice to me!"  
Me: "And you're nice to me?"  
Jack: "I give you stuff!"  
Me: "You mean the junk you keep giving me that could possibly be detrimental to my health? Jack, that's not nice; that's more like not having the consideration to test something out yourself before having other people try it. How would you feel if Takakura never used the lights in your house, handed it over to you, and the moment you flipped a light switch you were electrocuted?"

Apparently, my sharp-tongue had crossed the line there.

Jack: "Does it matter that much? I didn't mean to!"  
Me: "Well, if you took care of your cow better in the first place, many people in this valley wouldn't have drunk your disgusting milk! And if you actually acquired some more recipes and learned to make Sashimi properly, I wouldn't be afraid of you every darn time you rushed up to me with food!"

Jack chose that moment to run off back to his farm heatedly.

I still feel horrible for saying such self-esteem marring things, but it was the truth and he needed to know it.

This entry is tiring me out; I'd best get to bed before Tim comes up and reprimands me for my late waking hours.


	16. Sixth of Summer

**Lightning-Dono**: Yes, I'm updating! Sorry for the delay – I've been SO busy lately! Dentist appointments, reading, school shopping, working on my manga that isn't even in the correct manga formatting and whatnot...Yikes. But needless to say, I'm not going to leave you guys hanging! We're already halfway through – I won't abandon now.

**Answers to the Reviews **

**Sikerra the Eternity Knight** – Thanks! That conversation seems to be quite the popular part of this fanfic. xD Sorry for the lack of updates. Gomen gomen!

**Gia Lupin** – Thank you! I'll update. Maybe not soon, but I'll still update.

**RWT** – Nami should be a professor. The ones that improve you by pointing out everything that's wrong with what you do. oo;;

**Horseface** – I'm glad you think it's interesting! Oh, don't worry. I can't hold a grudge if my life depended on it. It's just not in my nature – I'm just a little sharp-tongued sometimes and I can over react. : )

**Inusgrl90** – Thank you! May I offer my opinion? For me, I'm trying to make it so that Jack can learn a lesson from, basically, his worst enemy thus far. He hurts far more for someone that hates you when you want them to like you to say things like that and it really makes you want to change. Well, that's my standpoint, anyway.

**HarvestMoonGuy** – Wow, I feel so honored! -cries- Thank you! It's fun writing as Nami. x3 The way she says thing is just so simple, yet so complicated that it drives me crazy writing this thing. But I love it. : D

**Master Toku** – Tee-hee...-waves to Toku's eyebrows- I've always been pretty tired of reading of Jack being too...successful. He always got the girl before, but I guess now things have turned drastically against him. xD Oh no! Poor Jack – I would feel bad for him THEN! (Oh...and yes, he will get a chicken. All the more fun, ne?)

**Inuchan17** – xD So forceful! An update is coming your way! Fwee! Fruits Basket is awesome! Me likes Momiji and Kisa...like my profile says.

**Little Bo Binky** – Thank you very much!

**lil-c-girl2218** – o.o Don't let this fanfic affect your judgement! –shaking- Nooo, the Jack in the game is gooood...the Jack in the game from his fanfic is baaaad...don't torture him too much:P

**PacificTwist** – Thanks! Jack is very much a fool...he always has been. -pokes Jack-

**Hotaru Yu Higuchi** – Thank you! No, it can't be better than Harry Potter:0 But thanks for saying it is! It makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. You think it could be cool if Nami married Jack? Oh, would it ever...:)

--

Sixth of Summer

Luckily Jack hasn't planned any returns from his farm. In fact, I don't believe he's emerged once from his farm today, from what I could tell. The improbable thing is that while I passed the farm on my way to the spring, I saw him hacking at the grass that was looming about a foot above his head. It was about time he did something about it. I was quite tired of the jungle that constantly blocked everyone's view of the sky. Also, his cow looks somewhat healthier, which is an improvement. I guess what I told him yesterday had an affect on his outrageously poor performance in the previous season and a half. I'll bet you anything tomorrow I'll find him in the Inn's lobby, prying at the kitchen looking for recipes. Needless to say, he'd find a couple, but I doubt he even has the ingredients to create them. The only thing I've seen on his farm is a cow, a heap load of grass (I'll bet if he stacked it all vertically it'll be enough to get him to the moon...and beyond.), a maybe the signature tapering leaves of sprouting turnips. It was hilarious watching his stick-thin arms handling a bulky-handled sickle with a rusty blade – a few days before I would never have expected that he could even pick up a single ounce of gold, much less a heavy farm tool.

However, there was something I noticed today that kind of strikes me as odd. And it very much has nothing to do with Jack.

This morning the heating stopped working for some weird reason (I'm not much of a mechanic, and not being able to investigate the happening doesn't help much either.) so I got right out of my room that was slowly dropping degrees. Naturally, I went to Tim and Ruby in hopes that they could repair the heating in time for dusk so I wouldn't have to freeze in my room. After all, this was turning out to be an unusually cool summer. Minus the fact that yesterday was as hot as ever and I felt like I would die if Tim and Ruby didn't install air conditioning, but that's off-subject. Either way, when I knocked on their bedroom door, they opened up and let me in. Upon letting me in, I was blasted in the face with a very large photo mounted on the wall of Tim and Ruby...with a little boy nestled in Ruby's arms, his hair as black as the night and his eyes chocolate brown. This shook me a little, even as I explained my arrival, I couldn't take my mind off of that damn picture. It just haunted me through the entire day, seeping it's little mysteries of their family little by little as I drew conclusions out of the air.

For one...I didn't think it was Rock. It couldn't have been – Rock's hair roots are no where close to being black and unless I'm very mistaken, he doesn't dye his hair OR wear a wig. After all, I highly doubt that his parents would allow him to wear a wig, being the sensible and down-to-earth couple they are. Rock was always very sensitive about his appearance and tried to be as natural and himself as possible. Someone with such a mindset wouldn't be artificial.

On a random branch of thought, I almost thought that Rock could've been kidnapped from his actual parents for no reason. Certainly Tim and Ruby couldn't have simply smuggled him from his home, so I was thinking more of a persuasive type situation. However, there was something wrong with that picture. Why would Tim and Ruby convince someone to hand over their own _son_? That theory became outrageously farfetched once I envisioned Tim and Ruby begging on hands and knees, tears dripping down their faces, defeated in spirit and hoping to get another child. Or in a more violent thought, Tim would be thrashing about with a butcher knife while Ruby stealthily stole Rock.

Another idea would be that his hair started out dark and he gradually became blonde. But that would be a little odd since his hair started out to be pretty dark, so I doubt that even over that course of time his hair would be completely light like it is now.

Rock never had a very well-developed relationship with his parents (Tim and Ruby, I mean.). The most I ever heard from him that was directed towards his mother and father were, "Good morning.", "Dinner was great.", and "Good night.". Perhaps a few other statements shoved in between, but that's probably a very accurate list of what he says. Perhaps it was because he was growing older and didn't have much in common with his parents to relate to in conversation. But onto a more pressing inquiry...

If Rock wasn't their authentic son, then who was? And if Rock happened to not be one of their bloodline, what happened to the son in the picture? Perhaps the child in the picture was simply a nephew of Tim and Ruby's?

I think it's best to drop it here while I'm still sane.

I believe that Wally and Chris had an argument today. When they both walked out of the house, Chris was carefully avoiding Wally's eyes and Wally had his eyes focused on the tip of his nose. What they argued about I couldn't tell, but when Chris went up the hill, she was taking elephant steps, like she was trying to distance herself ever-so-slowly from Wally.

Muffy seems to be ailing from something, possibly the cold, but I'm not quite sure. She seemed a little more frail this morning as she hobbled along, looking like the Apocalypse was arriving any day. If I didn't know better, it seemed as though she were starving herself...Even though she had been an annoying person who hadn't had the courage to simply ask Griffin to give her a raise instead of beseeching me for extra money, I actually felt a bit sorry for her. I decided to give it some time before I pelted Jack with a guilt trip for making Muffy slowly deteriorate inside out.

I'll go to bed now.


	17. Seventh of Summer

**Lightning-Dono**: Fweee, updating! (Obviously. o.o) I've been kind of...lazy...I have horrible Writers Block and no inspiration to update whatsoever, but I'm trying. xx;; Maybe when high school starts I'll have more inspiration! But live with it until then, 'kay?

Answers to the Reviews   
First things first. Thank you so much for the reviews, everyone! It makes me feel great that people are enjoying this and it makes me want to write so much more! -hugs everyone- 

**Sikerra the Eternity Knight** – Thanks much! I feel like I'm getting a little out-of-touch with her character, especially with this Writers Block and all (Which has, yet again, made its return.). It will develop into something...It will, it will...

**Inusgrl90** – So, true, huh? Yeah, the nephew idea is a thousand times more probable than Tim trying to murder the parents and somehow get away with it. Maybe that's how they ended up in Forget-Me-Not Valley? xD

**Master Toku** – (Pssst, Nami IS paranoid. -shifty glance-) Hmmm, you're right. But hey, I like the drama! Although I don't necessarily sit before my TV 24-7 taking in the heartfelt events of a soap opera, you know. It's hard not to over-exaggerate. xD (Oh no, Patrick can't get cancer! ;o;) Jack wouldn't do such a violent thing! Then again, you never know, especially with his fickle nature.

**RWT** – I know! Half the chapter is about Rock and his stupid hair! xD

**Gia Lupin** – Wally's crazy about sports, but not crazy enough to try and put Hugh on steroids. xD Besides...he likes milk and fruits. Not that that really says much, but you know. :P

**Horseface** – Poor Jack is so weak...I guess now it's time to slap some muscle on him!

**lil-c-girl2218** – Good...now make sure you don't force Jack to become anorexic... -imagines Nami in a long beige trenchcoat, a monocle, a magnifying glass, and a beige buckle hat- Uh...Maybe not. :P

**PacificTwist** – I don't really have a theory about Rock yet that sounds reasonable, save for the nephew one. But then, it needs to be Rock! xD

**Jaguira** - Thank you so very much! That's very nice of you...I'm updating now! So you can all be happy. : D

--

Seventh of Summer

Today, I just realized something. It's not that I haven't paid attention to this before, but it surfaces more often in my mind when I'm trying to make conversation with a certain stubborn, gaunt hobo by the name of Murrey.

He lacks the proper education to be articulate. I've never been able to fathom the depths of his mind and intelligence from the minimal statements he's been able to utter in the face of pressure. Everything he says seems to be a mere phrase that doesn't even begin properly and, for a small percentage of the time, doesn't even BEGIN to make sense. Personally, I don't have a problem with his stuttering. I suppose being a homeless man for so long can detract from your sense of being able to communicate properly with others, but honestly. The only thing he will actually take from you is fodder and money. Ridiculously enough, I think the only thing he can actually hope to do with fodder is to weave an extra skirt and have it provide some itchy bedding. I can understand him accepting gold, but fodder? And what about food? He just doesn't take any. I've tried everything, mainly from Ruby's kitchen, in hopes that it would fill him up and add some more meat to his bony frame. The only thing he'll say in response is, "That looks y-yum." Wonderful. Then when you walk away after several attempts of trying to make him eat it, he looks at your back, aghast, as though he can't believe that you're leaving him. What the hell is _wrong_ with that guy?

Let me rephrase that. What in the world is his problem with accepting generosity in the areas he most needs it in? Unless I'm very much mistaken, he _needs_ food and nourishment that doesn't come from slop on the floor of the Blue Bar. He looks _intrigued_ when you go up to him with food and offer it to him. So why in the world is so picky and never takes a thing that you give him? Seriously, sometimes you just have to wonder.

Any way, I'll let that just wander for now, since I don't really feel like writing much about Murrey. He's a rather dull person in general, unless you like tweaking his shaggy facial hair, then I rest my case.

Jack...well, let's just say I've been more and more intimidated by his behavior lately. Just this morning, he decided he needed a break from farm work (For the record, yesterday was the only full day he's worked on it. And now he's giving up. Typical Jack.) so he's been thudding around looking like the world is against him. And when I say thudding, I'm not kidding in that matter. It's like his footsteps are amplified over a microphone and whenever you walk by him the ground rumbles, he's walking so heavily. That's great that he's showing that he's tired, but if he was truly tired, he would be lying in bed, not cursing us with his presence. And what's more, when he thought I was following him around with relentless vigor, that was an exaggeration of my ability to follow compared to his. Plain and simple, he is making it quite obvious that he is very much stalking me.

I was heading up to Romana's house this morning and behind me, sounding like a horse trampling someone, he ran up to me and offered a hip fossil. Since I supposed he was just trying to be nice, I took it (I can't resist such objects, anyway.) and let it be. I then headed back from Romana's mansion and from behind one of the trees, I swore I saw locks of brown hair swaying in the wind and blue overalls. And if this makes it any better, I'm quite sure that I didn't take any hallucinogenic drugs, and quite frankly, I don't believe I ever will. That type of thing is sickening. Back to Jack. A couple of hours later, I went up to Vesta's plantation to just sit there and converse with Celia since she's one of the more intelligent citizens of this valley. As we exchanged greetings, I saw him "coincidentally" fishing in the stream running by the plantation. I know this wasn't a coincidence because I KNOW he wasn't there when I crossed the bridge. And he has that shifty look about him that can't be promising anything good.

More on that later. I'll head on over to Gustafa's and ask for his opinion on this issue.


	18. Eighth of Summer

**Lightning-Dono**: Meh, sorry about the long wait! I had Writers Block...I was trying to get out of it by reading and working on my manga. I'm not going to answer the reviews right now...but I thank everyone who reviewed!

I actually wrote this in August...but I forgot to upload it. oo; Oops.

Right now I have major projects going on at school, so expect nothing for a while. Sorry! It's not like I want to leave you guys...

--

Eighth of Summer 

Jack is a disgusting imbecile who probably wouldn't lift his leg if someone didn't make him. Or perhaps it's an annoying voice in the back of his head urging him to get up in the morning or he would betray his father's wishes. But whatever the case may be, he's beyond what I would consider a "regular" person. In fact, he's like Muffy mutated into a male carrying an, if possible, even worse personality. There's something about Jack I can't place and it just keeps occurring to me how he's arming himself with the tactics Muffy used to seduce him and using them against me. It never fails to faze me the amount of insolence he has.

I was taking a short trek over to Van's booth to see what he had in stock. Turns out while I was sitting up here brooding over the fact that Jack was now pursuing me, none other than the impudent man had bought EVERYTHING the pudgy man had to offer. Van was standing there sweating when I got to him and complaining that he'd have to restock his inventory. For a moment, I was in shock at how Jack could actually gain that much money. Perhaps he's a professional at extorting money from others? I wouldn't be surprised to see him swindling some of Romana's riches, but later on today, I discovered the source of his sudden recovery from near poverty.

He had sold his cow.

Yes, he had stooped low enough to simply off with his cow for the cash. That is an impure, raw, cold-blooded action right there. He could have, just as easily, sold the milk to make money. While I doubt he could ever become solvent simply by selling that garbage he thinks is milk, atleast he would make a decent amount of profit. After all, if he worked harder, he would be able to obtain a godly amount of money. But no, he decided to get rich for a few hours by selling his cow and after buying whatever it is he purchased, he was back to where he was before: the beginning. Sometimes I wish I could just pry off his hair, hammer something into his brain (Preferably an open-ended tin can), and scream common sense into him. Regardless of method, I suppose, he'll still be a heartless jerk. It'd be better if I didn't tamper with what was left of his sanity, I guess. Then again, the cow would atleast be sold to a better owner who wouldn't be completely horrible...it's virtually impossible to sink any lower than Jack has.

For a few moments, I couldn't believe it. No competent farmer would remain animal-less, save for a dog that couldn't have gained any money had it tried. But of course, I had a bizarre feeling before that Jack would be obviously a failure as a farmer and this was his fate either way.

Anyhow, I climbed up that enormously rope that Patrick and Kassey use as an entrance to their "home" to visit them today. To this very day, it always amazes how they can still keep up such child-like strength at their age. When I got up there, they were molding and adding fuses to fireworks while playing their little game. At a point in time, while I was sitting there supervising their games (They tended to grow a little violent during these.), Kassey lost it after losing the third game in row and hurled a stick at Patrick's head. Luckily, it buried itself into Patrick's massive amount of hair behind his ears and no damage was done. Somehow, I'm beginning to notice that tempers are running high due to the virtually unbearable summer heat. Although the season itself is tapering itself out of the picture, the weather is still stubborn in the area of atleast letting some cooling airwaves flow through.

Onto another scene. Wally and Chris seem to be controversy about something, from what I could pick up. I happened to be strolling about in the afternoon heat with nothing to do when Wally jogs by, leaving Chris in his dust, and muttering something about "pack rat" and "lacks dedication". I'm not going to even bother meddling in these little family squabbles between spouses. They can work it out on their own. But knowing the amount of curiosity I own, I'll probably end up discovering the cause anyway.

I had planned to pay Gustafa a much-deserved visit today, but I found that he had decided to fall asleep today, so I'll pursue his advice tomorrow.

I have nothing more to say, therefore, this entry will end.


	19. Ninth of Summer

**Lightning-Dono**: Sorry, but I won't reply to the reviews this time either. xx;; I'm too lazy and after marching in a parade which rained through the whole time, I'm too tired. xD But let it be known that I faithfully read each and every one of your reviews and will take in all opinions and consider all contributions! Thank you so much for everyone's support!

And just on a note...when I write this, it doesn't reflect my true feelings. There is no way in the world I could be as cold as Nami.

--

Ninth of Summer 

I consulted Gustafa today on what I shall from this day on dub as the "Jack" issue. And his opinion isn't making anything brighter on my part. Gustafa believes that Jack may have a "thing" for me. There was also something that bothered me about the way he uttered it. He chuckled slightly as though he were amused and instantly retracted into a brooding mood. I knew what was going on, but I didn't voice it. He thought that since I was using him as a voice to confirm what Jack's doing instead of asking him about his personal life, I cared more about Jack. I wanted to know more about Jack from his perspective, and I didn't want to come off like that because it simply wasn't true. But I left with a good-bye because I had been too slow on the uptake to figure out what he was reflecting from his behavior. Sometimes I can be just the crappiest friend ever.

Muffy now has some very unbecoming, what I like to call, "worry lines" on her forehead now. For shame, I'm three years older and I don't have them. She needs to get over the fact that Jack is hopping trains right now and stop worrying about her love life every moment of the day. It may sound harsh and I may seem shallow after this point, but this is what I think: love isn't everything. It's a beautiful thing when you can grasp it, but in Muffy's case, it would be so much safer to just let go and grab on later. The man who holds her in his arms doesn't need to be Jack and the only valid girl for him isn't only her. There are plenty of women wandering around the valley that could be his (With the exception of me, since I just won't take it.).

Come to think of it, Jack didn't pull off any lethal stunts today. He did seem to be mocking me from behind the safety of his fence with an energy drink today as I walked by, but that didn't do much but make me wonder how much more immature he could get. He was literally drinking it as though he were an actor in a commercial. Those actors I could understand. When he did it, he looked more or less like an attention-lusting dork with no brain. People simply don't swing cans of energy drinks from their mouths when they take a finishing gulp, releasing a jet of orange liquid messily down their chin all the while, and finish by wiping their mouth on their sleeves dramatically. My best argument for that is that they just don't. When actors do it, they're promoting the desirability of the product to the general public. When Jack does it, I'd kill to stay away from the item. Maybe my disdain towards him is twisting my judgement a tad bit too far, but I'd better be unreasonable and safe rather than be reasonable and in danger of being taken away by Jack. If he tried a little harder, he could be the next Boogie Man.

On a less stress-filled branch of thought, the summer heat is dying down, thank goodness. Except it's only dropped to a lovely 87 degrees Fahrenheit, which isn't much of a difference from the usual 90, but it didn't keep me from going outside. I was getting quite used to having my skin flake and peel afterwards, either way.

Also, things are still stirring between Wally and Chris. Hugh seems really bothered about his position between them, so he always lags quite a ways behind the two when they're walking, more or less because Wally and Chris seem to be avoiding all form of contact. They were such a loving couple – what could have gone wrong between them?

I'll try and find out tomorrow.


	20. Tenth of Summer

**Lightning-Dono**: Apparently they made replying to reviews not allowed because of their new reply system...I'll try and reply to you guys, but don't be disappointed if I don't since that takes more time than simply replying in here! I hope you understand and enjoy this next installment.

--

Tenth of Summer 

Seeing as summer seems to be tapering off to a close, I've decided to ask the doctor to decline on his daily delivery of the lotion. It seems to be rather useless since there isn't much use for it now that the soothing coolness of the valley is settling in. In fact, I'm in a writing mood today so I'll be more descriptive today. Who knows? Perhaps I'll grow to be a famous writer someday, but I wouldn't count on it. I haven't the patience for such display of emotion in my writing. The most I'll do is put it down on paper and let it flow away from there. Many experienced writers tend to work past their difficulties and weaknesses and continue to allow their plots to blossom. I just simply write down what I think. Unless I'm answering opinion questions, that doesn't get me entirely far. Although I may be able to hit the best-sellers list if I write about an awful farmer by the name of Jack...honestly now, everyone would love to read about his lunacies in hardcover format.

Onto the meat of the day. Chris, in all her pink-and-white plaid glory seems to be calming down – it's the affect that differently colored leaves have on people. They turn from lusciously, graciously green to a deep crimson, shades of yellow, and so many fiery gradients of orange. It's absolutely stunning. I sound like a raving artist and it may seem out of character for me to think such things, but who knows what I hide beneath my cover? After all, everyone has a shield. Everyone has as much passion as their heart and soul can contain. You may never find me writing romance novels, but I certainly can describe the more wonderful things in life. You may not know, but wearing down my wrist joint simply to rant about Jack is just tiring. How long can you write about a stupid farmer who sells his only cow, can't even obtain a single new animal, and still has troubles cooking the most easy of recipes? Sometimes I wish his father were back with us and restore the farm to what it was – a glorified farm that produced the richest of milk. Better yet, have Takakura take over. After all, he's better than Jack could ever be, the little beast.

But that's completely off topic.

Wally is still vigorously exercising and I'm proud to say that the muscles in his arms are growing less tense as the day went by. But either he and Chris have agreed to sever ties forever or made up, because I'm seeing progress with some shadow to it as well. They apparently are avoiding each other, yet...they seem so much happier. You'd think they'd be traumatized if they had recently filed for divorce instead of looking as though they'd be on their way to salvation in a matter of days. Even Hugh seems relaxed. I decided not to pry on it since it may remind them of the past few days they've been so furious at each other over.

I'm seriously questioning the sanity of Muffy at the moment. Either she's planning to go on a diet, do pilates and get fit, or she's going for an anorexic look because she, if possible, looks even skinnier than before. Atleast before this Jack situation she had a full form and looked well fed. Today it looked more like Griffin had padlocked her door while she was asleep and was starving her as well. And somehow she had escaped to live in the street...quite literally. She just can't get that Jack had gotten over her. She wasn't his little lapdog anymore. Muffy was standing next to the Inn watching Jack's farm this afternoon as though she were expecting him to leap down the hill and sail into her arms. I felt such pity towards her I decided to talk to her this afternoon, and I had the most pathetic conversation in the world. After nearing that, my pity gauge just emptied out and fed into a category labeled "don't care". Due to the fact that I have an excellent short-term memory, here is the conversation. Perhaps not word-for-word, but close.

**Me**: "Do you always have to look so miserable?" (Maybe not the best conversation starter, but it got her to talk.)  
**Muffy**: "It's not like I _want_ to look miserable all the time."  
**Me**: "And who's making you look it?"  
**Muffy**: "Jack." (That's right: Jack. Apparently he's a marionette-controller flying around in a blimp above Muffy controlling her facial muscles. Suuuure.)  
**Me**: "Can't you just walk away from him? He doesn't care about...you anymore."  
**Muffy**: "Yes he does! He's in denial!" (Some people just can't take a hint.)  
**Me**: "And how's that?"  
**Muffy**: "He might think he doesn't like me, but by the end of this year he'll remember and propose to me!" (Someone's been reading one too many fantasy books.)  
**Me**: "You honestly think that?"  
**Muffy**: "Why wouldn't I? He's a loving man!" (Yes, the most loving man ever. I'd seriously reconsider that if I were her.)  
**Me**: "Suit yourself."

That was one of the more worthless things I have heard. How can she still cling to him mentally even though he dumped her so heartlessly? She scares me at times. It's ridiculous how persistent she can be. I hate to say it, but even though I couldn't care less about her and her infatuation over Jack, I fear for her safety. Muffy is just so vulnerable.

Jack offered me a light pickles today with a rather sinister look on his face. I refused and he looked like he had the urge to murder me on the spot for a second. Just because I didn't want to indulge in his poisonous productions? I would've preferred him jumping at me and attempting to knock my lights out; atleast then I'd have a fighting chance. He just gets more devious everyday.

Tim is coming in for room service right now, so I must end the entry.


	21. First of Fall

**Lightning-Dono**: This chapter is chock full of Nami's new, sudden take on Jack. Thank you for the reviews, everyone! 

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First of Fall 

As of today, I feel sympathy towards Jack. I'll explain why.

He proposed to me today with a Blue Feather that looks he just used it to dust off his _barn_. Had anyone else seen what it looked like, they would've violently turned various shades of red and walked off, too. This is, in great detail, exactly what happened.

It's the first day of my favorite season, and I was looking forward to going out and picking some Trick Blue in the welcoming afternoon sunshine. Only...I should never have even set foot outside of the Inn since all that would await me out there an hour later was an empty street and Jack riding up on a scrawny horse with a Blue Feather practically flying out of his hand. Of course, my resistance to the natural Fall atmosphere is little to null, so I decided to, dare I say, pursue the great outdoors. Then of course, I after paying a visit to the small swamp neighboring Cody's trailer, I decided to go up the cobbled street to visit the plantation. Since there was obviously no other alternate way unless I really wanted to swim across the river/stream, I ran into Jack right smack dab infront of the Inn. It was like the sun had just sunk below the horizon and all the evils of the world had come out to play.

With the most repulsively sweet, over-exaggerated smile in the world, Jack leapt off his horse (that very much looked like it were going to collapse) and went up to me. Not like a man would usually propose to a woman, but he was doing well so far in terms of visuals. At least he wasn't spewing energy drink left and right. So here I was, thinking he was going to brag and say he was misleading Muffy the whole time with this pathetic drama and going to propose to her really quick and make her day. Instead of walking past me into the Blue Bar yards away, he stepped right infront of me and bent down...halfway to the ground on one knee. He was literally just hanging in midair with one knee bent.

"I don't want to get my jeans dirty," he explained to me. Apparently he thought this was classy. I thought otherwise. Right now, the worst thought came into my mind. That he was going to propose to _me_. Should the heavens have struck me down with lightning at that moment I would've been ecstatic. And here came the terrible conversation that shook me so hard as to the reality of this situation. He hadn't been stalking me for nothing. He had been plucking up the courage for the following event to carry through.

**Jack**: "I recently got this from the Harvest Sprites."**  
Me**: "Oh. How kind of them."**  
Jack**: "I am here to say something I would never have thought of saying before."**  
Me**: "And what's that?"**  
Jack**: "I am here to propose to you, my lady of few words." (Please, someone get me the sink.)**  
Me**: "I'm...sorry."**  
Jack**: "What?"

And that's when I walked away. I couldn't take it anymore. I was tired of ridiculing him needlessly because he didn't learn his lesson the first few times. After thinking it over a while, it was uselessly to hurt him even more through any other way and it was just...heartless. After seeing what Muffy went through after Jack's rejection, as despicable as he was, did I really want him to hurt him that much? What had he ever done to me other than poison me with milk and kill me by shoving me down a well to get my attention? Perhaps he did deserve it, but I toughed it out. What he did to me didn't affect my mental state and how I went through life (Other than make me try and avoid him as much as possible.) But what would happen if I destroyed him inside out by shooting him down after he proposed to me? I didn't have the heart and strength to do that – I am antisocial and unfeeling sometimes...but I'm not cruel.

I know very well that you shouldn't mess with love. When it's over, it's over. It's pure evil to destroy someone because they love you and you don't feel the same...like Jack did to Muffy.

I don't want to be like him. I sound stupid saying thing, and maybe I am being just a complete sap and thinking this too deeply, but...it's true. This is my journal, and I can say what I think without anyone thinking I'm being a brainless fool for it. This is what I feel. Jack is a human being, and even though I treat him like he can't feel, I know he can. He hurts whenever someone stabs him in the back and talks behind his back. He can't sleep at night when he knows he's been betrayed. He can't heal when someone's damaged him horribly. And like everyone else...he has secrets and he hides things from the rest of the world.

Maybe he still loves Muffy but he wants to cover up his mistake of dropping her like garbage by trying to fall in love with me. Perhaps he still wants to patch up the scars he has knowing his father is no longer there for him by looking for a replacement to care for him like his father had. Or maybe he just can't forget the unconditional love his mother had given him and when he had left her, he craved for the same thing even more. And with his mother so far out of reach, he saw some of his mother in me. Maybe it was the way I walked, or the way I reacted to him. We don't know, and I certainly don't, but the more passive side of my spirit tells me that much. Something tells me that he's carrying a fake face.

But I can't be his because I still have these unexplained feelings for Gustafa. I just have a strong connection towards him that's more complicated to explain than atomic structure. Yet...I have a feeling that Jack will find someone soon who loves him the same way.


	22. Second of Fall

**Lightning-Dono**: Thank you for the reviews, guys...no matter what, I know that you'll be there and that helps me update more than anything, especially with my busy schedule. Thank you for taking time out of your day to read this. I really appreciate it.

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Second of Fall 

The more I talk to Gustafa, the more I'm intrigued by his dedication to his passion and the more I find myself subconsciously comparing him to Jack. It's hardly even noticeable, but it's there. There's just this nagging in my mind that forces me to size them up in my mind, just to prove to myself somehow that Gustafa is better...and he is. It just scares me that I'm so worried about falling for Jack when Winter is coming...there has been a legend floating around that the couple that marries on the last day of the year will receive the greatest amounts of luck and well-being. Although I'm not the least bit superstitious (Honestly now, as long as both people in the relationship are willing to make it happen, it doesn't matter _when_ you're married.), it's always a great comfort to know that if all else fails, there's something to back it up.

He gave me a Trick Blue today, which had to be the sweetest thing ever. But peace never lasts, however, since the valley's ever spontaneous weather decided to start dumping rain on us the moment Gustafa began strapping on his guitar to...serenade me, I suppose. The only thing I could think was, damn it angels, if you have to cry, cry later. Obviously that couldn't be helped and I didn't want to come across a bad sport to the guy, so I just followed him into his hut. He sang to me in there while I just sat there, static and like a board, on his bed feeling stupid while I looked at his insanely vibrantly colored dwelling. Come on now, he has more colors than the rainbow in there. But it was better than being outside and having to stare at an endlessly gray sky that isn't painful to the eyes, but isn't alive. His song...I have to admit sounded better than his regular miscellaneous, repetitive strumming. It had breathtaking chords, and his fingers just...danced across the strings and his voice just went beyond his usual range of ability. It was wonderful.

Then I decided I would ask Gustafa something. It might not have been much of a breakthrough since he may have realized it was coming all ready, but I asked him if he liked me. Whoa, wrong thing to say, since, excuse the fact that I need to insert this here in order for it not to rhyme in a horrendously corny fashion, it ruined my day. Completely. I thought I would be pulled into his arms, or something of the sort, but all he did was fondle his guitar strings and say, "Sure I do. I like you as a friend." He turned to me, his eyes expressionless as his purple lenses shielded them, but I could tell. Gustafa was smiling, and it wasn't because I looked like I was suppressing sobs of anger, but because it was the truth.

I hated him right then. I hated the fact that I had been his friend, tried to impress him for so long (inconspicuously, I admit), been with him at times where he was in tragically depressing moods, everything...I just thought I deserved more than that. So all I did was say I had to leave because I didn't think the rain would let up later, and he let me go. Into the cold, slashing rain just because he was too selfish to offer me kindly advice and tell me to stay so I didn't catch anything.

Now I know how Muffy felt, just to be ripped apart by Jack. Gustafa's attack was much subtler, but I had instigated it. If I hadn't asked that stupid question, I would be a thousand times happier and I'd still have feelings for him. Was knowing really better than being naive about the whole love scheme? If I hadn't asked and he hadn't replied with that, would I have had more time to make him like me even more? Perhaps even as a girlfriend? Those thoughts just keep crowding my mind and every sentence begins with "what if".

I feel like I'm looking through a mirror. A part of me knows Jack and the other knows Muffy. And sadly, I know exactly how both of them feel. It's such an ugly feeling, being able to sympathize for both sides, almost at the edge of an emotional imbalance. It's strange being able to feel for both parts of the equation.

Atleast now I know what to do. I need to make my heart harder, stronger so no feelings of love penetrate it. I always wanted to love someone and have them love me back. I had wanted to love my father and have him accept me and love me as his daughter. I had wanted the same thing with Gustafa, but as his soul mate. As a child, I was secretly a hopeless romantic. But my fantasies will never come true.

No one loves me accept Jack, and even then he doesn't truly love me. He just wants a replacement for what he lost quite purposely.

No one cares about my relationship with Gustafa. I want to go back to him so much and listen to him strum and hum to his melodies on the guitar. But I can't now, because it hurts too much to see him.

Maybe it's just better if I don't love and don't know love.


	23. Third of Fall

**Lightning-Dono**: I'm so sorry for the lack of updates, you guys. But I got a new computer and I'm on a 60-day trial with Microsoft Word and I had to use the computer for projects and some one-shot fics I wanted to write. Sorry! But I will continue this! My writer's block is long gone.

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Third of Fall

I feel pathetic. In my mind, I realize that I can't stop Gustafa from giving his immediate opinion when I popped a question like that so suddenly. But there was no hesitation between my question and his response, no stuttering, no…random serenade bursting from his lungs. It was ridiculously short, forthright, and honest.

I still wish that he had lied. I know that it's dishonest and that I would never have known how he really felt, but he sunk my ship. Now I have no one to use my image to impress and I feel no worth in waking up in the morning to get dressed, comb out my hair, and even engage in the simple act of eating. All I want to do is lie in bed, scorn his very existence and seethe about how annoying Jack is. But regardless of my condition, I can't stay in bed for long so before I knew it I was dressed this morning and walking out the door and towards the bar. But not even a drink quelled my raging emotions.

Naturally, Jack was lurking in a corner of the bar, sipping on a Moon Trip with gusto, and when I stepped into the cramped bar, the first thing he did was smile at me with his startlingly white teeth. Usually, I would have turned and walked in the other direction. It didn't matter now. I didn't have to be loyal to anyone, didn't have to hold up my standards. Right now, I was a lonely, loveless woman with a heart to full of hatred for love and I was sure that even if Jack tried to force his way in, I'd block it somehow.

Then I remembered that Gustafa often visited the bar in the mornings, so I stood up and took my drink out the door when Jack started following me. Not with his eyes or jerking his head forward with his smile to grin at me, but he actually got up, poured his drink into the fake plant's pot and followed. Sometimes I get the impression that he's just doing it for attention, but this time he looked intent on something – as though he were on some sort of mission to stalk me. Make that a suicide mission to stalk me. I was very much tired of seeing his face swell with pride whenever he forced me into something or whatever he wanted to do. It was enough that he hadn't already tripped over a rock and speared himself with the blunt end of his sickle, but now he was plaguing me with his presence. In love or not, I wasn't willing to tolerate him coming with me and pilfering my room at night, trying to jump me when I went around corners or whatever other sorts of crap he had planned for me. I didn't consider my life that doomed that I would let him have such control.

So I decided to stand up to him. I haven't a clue why I hadn't done this before, but seeing his oddly clean denim overalls every time I turned my head just slightly while Celia dress was pockmarked with dirt stains irked me to the limit. He should've been at home tending to his nonexistent crops, because I wasn't letting him get by with this.

When I turned around to confront him, he looked as though he were in shock, like he had just seen me disintegrate on the spot or melt.

**Me**: "So, how far do you plan on following me."  
**Jack**: "I'm not following you." With this, he started trying to trace something in the cobblestone. It was as though he carried a bright pink neon sign proclaiming "NERVOUS". "This is how I get home."  
**Me**: "And you're walking behind me for what reason?"  
**Jack**: "Because this is how I get home." What a great reason.  
**Me**: "Then go on ahead." At this precise moment, I stepped aside for him to pass.  
**Jack**: "All right, I wanted to talk to you! Just stop making me look like a fool."

At this, I was surprised. I expected him to continue his claims of trying to get home. What could he want to talk about? Nevertheless, I was ready to give him a smack if he decided that he should propose to me. In fact, even if there was a flash of blue with a spine and feathery cerulean material coming out of his pocket, I'd smack him anyway. Now that I think about it, perhaps I was merely in a bad mood, but now I realize that I was retracting from society. As if I wasn't already anti-social enough.

**Me**: "Go ahead and say it. I don't really have the time to wait for you to keep stalling."

I couldn't believe what he said next, really. I'll say why later.

**Jack**: "Can you stop ridiculing me? I'm really tired of it! Whenever I come near you, you're always pulling out sarcastic remarks and using them against me. And you're impatient, you won't listen to me…"

You know what, that was infuriating. He spurs all of the misfortune I bestow upon him. Honestly speaking, maybe he didn't deserve everything he got, but if I had just let walk him all over me without reacting, he would have. I was positive that if someone had tried to give him rancid milk, he wouldn't have maintained his patience around them, either. And if someone had attempted to push him down the town well, he probably wouldn't be so keen to hang around them anymore, either. It was amazing how he didn't incorporate his own faults into this. Didn't he realize what he did at all or was he possessed by some evil spirit as he did these things? It frightens me to know that there are actually people like him in the world.

**Me**: "But do you think there is a reason why?"  
**Jack**: "What did _I_ do?"

The guy had issues beyond all understanding. You didn't have to take AP Psychology in order to learn how people behave and act. This was basic. Or perhaps I'm just exceptionally bitter because of Gustafa.

**Me**:"What do you think you did?"  
**Jack**: "I was trying to be your friend!"  
**Me**: "Oh, well I can come up with many things that you have done that weren't very friendly."  
**Jack**: "I was trying. Everyone screws up! No one's perfect."  
**Me**: "I'm sure giving someone spoiled milk is 'trying'."  
**Jack**: "Hey, maybe I might not be bright in your eyes, but at least I want to make friends."

This really hurt. It wasn't like I didn't want to make friends, I just didn't make the effort to because I wasn't used to being social. I was naturally a wanderer. If I became too attached to a person in some place, I wouldn't be able to move on. It'd ruin the entire pattern of my life. But what was I wandering for? I wanted to find a sense of belonging, but only in those I bothered to trust. Frankly, Jack wasn't one of them.

**Me**: "I'll make friends. Just…not with you." And even being a cold person, I found that rude.  
**Jack**: "Fine. I'll go."

Now, along with my anger towards Gustafa, I'm guilty because of Jack.

Looks like my favorite time of year has been ruined after all.


	24. Fourth of Fall

**Lightning-Dono**: Has anyone ever heard the song "Here I Am" by Bryan Adams? It reminds me of Nami…except the singer is male. This chapter is a short one, but...it's worth it, I think.

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Fourth of Fall

Am I the bearer of some type of trend here? First, my father was one of the least desirable and least cooperative men in the world. Then, Jack came around and he has an urge to cause trouble, specifically to me, and now Gustafa is causing me grief. Like said in my previous entry, Gustafa didn't deserve any of my hatred because he didn't know what I wanted to hear. But right now, looking back upon it, I was pained to know that he was just so…thoughtless. Can he really look at a question like that coming from any girl and deem it something unworthy of time at which he can dismiss with a short answer like that?

Maybe I should continue to like him as a friend as well. But I find myself unable to because of internal turmoil. I can't seem to understand why he would reject me so easily, push me aside after I had known him for such a long time.

I feel like Jack now, floundering about for answers in hope that someone might see me as highly as I did they. Jack admired me, but I wouldn't even approach him with a pitchfork looming twelve feet over my head. I had a giant (God forbid I use this word, but I must) crush on Gustafa, but all he saw was another simple red-head wanting attention because she didn't have enough people to be around.

So today I decided to visit Cody to talk, and I got the shock of my life. And it wasn't just Cody…it was more than one person who had been going against me all this time, turning my hopes to dust and grinding them into the ground with their heel.

Jack and Cody were deep in conversation when I arrived at Cody's steel trailer and as I crept behind it to eavesdrop, which was uncharacteristically sneaky of me, I heard some of the most startling, blood-boiling things I had come across in my life. Jack hadn't bought that junk from Van for no reason. He was bribing potential people I would target as a love interest with them in order for them to reject me, ward them away from any signs of intimacy they wished to display to me. Jack was handing Cody a pair of sheep shears for him to somehow trim metals with. Apparently this was supposed to beequal exchange. How could Cody, my long time friend, comply to such an uneven and filthy trade? Andthe even more hauntingquestion was, whatin the world could Jack have given Gustafato make him agree to such a scandalousideal?

A moment later, he emerged into my range of vision and although I was in the shadows, he still saw me as though he had a radar tuned into my position. I was enraged when I saw his cocky expression melt into that of horror. Perhaps I didn't realize it at the moment, but maybe Jack had actually tried to run. But that never did happen, and if it had, it hadn't gotten him far.

Because the next thing I did was pounce on him and, instinctively, everything I had held within me for the past couple of days bubbled over the top and I took one look at my nails, glanced at his smooth, unmarred skin that should have been tan and weathered by farming and I scratched at him.

I don't know what kind of force took over at that moment other than pure, undiluted fury. I never knew I had been so passionate about love as I knelt there on a squirming, kicking, and flailing Jack, scratching open his arm for streams of blood to flow down. I had never been so angry in my life, and I had never done anything quite so violent before. I was cold, but I had never released my anger through means of physical harm. But Jack had nearly ruined my life, and letting this go would be like letting a criminal walk free.

If I hadn't come to out of my rage, I probably would've managed to kill him, as horrible as the thought is. But when I blinked through my tears and saw what Jack looked like, the tender part of my heart took over and I knew that I had gone too far.

Jack was whimpering, crying, and to my morbid satisfaction, bleeding. Reality struck when I saw blood, wet and set in my fingernails. Jack's blood.

I wanted to just kneel over him and cry, berating myself for what I had done for something that I probably couldn't save anyway. I wanted to bandage up his wounds, wipe away his tears, and carry him home and I felt a rush of pity take over. I suddenly couldn't understand what the purpose of what I had done was. How was this worth having Gustafa back? If I ever did get together with him, he wouldn't want someone who did cat impressions when she got angry, scratching at whatever was in reach. Did he seem like the type of person that would be easily satisfied by a madwoman?

The moment Jack passed out, Cody approached me and when I looked up at him, all he did was stare back at me grimly. It was almost a look of reproach, as though he were laying eyes upon a person who had just commited man-slaughter. But judging from what I had inflicted upon Jack, it was as good as man-slaughter.

"What have you done?" He asked in his thick, accented voice, looking down at me sternly, eyes dull and unfeeling for my predicament. His bulky frame shone with light from the orange, near-evening sun casting bright orange beams of light across the sky. At that moment, Cody looked like the formidable bridge between good and evil, what with his body outlined in a glaring flare of orange light while his front was dark and contrasted with the aura he appeared to radiate. When I looked around me, trees with their leaves slowly drooping downward with their leaves slowly changing colors and their branches reaching for the heavens, it seemed too perfect a setting for such a heinous crime.

But if Cody were the bridge between good and evil, what path had I chosen? Would I always a be a bitter person on the outside with caring that I hid constantly within my heart with a padlock? Or would I manage to free myself from the monstrous bonds love had managed to bind me with?

After I stood up, I wiped my hands upon my shorts, leaving streaks of dark crimson and I lifted up Jack's torso fromthe ground, leaving his slack legs on the ground as I tried to drag him. Cody didn't even bother rushing to aid me, but instead stood there like some sort of saint, onlooking what I would do to repent for my ill-thought of deed.

And in one fleeting moment of selfishness, as I pulled on Jack's unmoving body save for his shaky breathing and the fluttering pulse in his wrist that was beneath my fingers, all I could think about was how I would explain to Dr. Hardy what had happened.


	25. Fifth of Fall

**Lightning-Dono**: Thanks for the positive feed back, you guys! Big projects are over and Presidents Week is here, so more writing happening, ne? **reindledwildfire13**, you upload your fic by making an account, going to "Documents" and uploading your Microsoft Word document or whatever program your story is on. Then, click on "Stories" and click "New Story". The rest should be self-explanatory. Did that help? If you need further help, just ask me or drop by FAQ section.

This chapter is short. I'm sorry!

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Fifth of Fall

I couldn't finish my last entry…do you know how taxing it is on my mental sanity to drag an unconscious man to the doctor, knowing that I was the one who caused his pain? It physically hurt me to see the dried blood caked beneath my fingernails and then looking at the scratches along his arms. In that moment that night fell (Yes, it did take me that long) and I was lying him down before Dr. Hardy's house, I did what I had pictured in my mind and had wanted to do. I just knelt there over him, as though his stationary figure were actually not alive, and I just sobbed. It was so uncharacteristic of me, considering my calm manner, but I couldn't contain it anymore. He had hurt me so much, but I doubt even now that he had deserved such a thing.

And looking back on it, he had bribed those men to refuse my possible proposals because he had wanted me to ask for _his_ hand in marriage. But he was too afraid to ask because of my unfeeling demeanor, so he had to resort to more conniving methods. I wish it wasn't so, but it's not like I can change that.

But eventually I wiped away my tears and had to knock on the doctor's door. I couldn't leave him outside, bleeding, in the cold and unconscious.

I doubt that after seeing what a mess I had made the doctor would ever offer me anymore skin creams for my summertime plights, and I deserved that punishment as well, and much more. He just shook his head, telling me that it was betraying his conscience to not report me to higher authority, but he said that since Jack had been messing with your affairs to begin with, he'd restrain himself.

I wish I could've been put in handcuffs. It would have alleviated the burden placed on me by knowing that I was getting what I should've gotten, even for a few scratches.

But nevertheless, the first thing I did when Jack recovered was to go wash my hands and remove the crimson, dry blood that had been gathered beneath my nails. It wasn't becoming, and I knew it would probably confuse and traumatize him to see his own lifeblood on my hands. It was a disgusting sight, having to scrape it off my hands and watch it flow down the perfect, disinfected sink that Dr. Hardy had, but I had to do it. I probably would have been psychologically ill if I had to face seeing it more, smelling it whenever I cupped my face in my hands, feeling as though I could taste it whenever I drank water and saw it through the glass. It took all of my courage to walk out of Dr. Hardy's place and retrace my steps back to Cody's small abode, hoping that there wouldn't be bloodstains there.

Most unfortunately there were, so I took care not to walk there the rest of the day to decrease the rate at which my heart beat. I was tired of the rush of excitement and dread I received whenever I came close to that spot. But I was comforted that the next time it rained, it would sink into the ground and be no more.

I was surprised to know today that Jack was doing okay and that he had decided to stay at his farm's side instead of involving himself in other people's business, as well as the fact that not very many people knew about what had happened the night before. I hadn't slept since. I sat by Jack's side the whole night at Dr. Hardy's while he was being bandaged without even knowing why I had done it. I don't know if it was out of sympathy, pity, or if I did feel something for this manipulative man.

But Chris, being Chris, knew about it. She worked in a place where talk circulated easily, therefore they heard about my midnight rendezvous with Jack, that, twisted by rumor, started out romantic until I started to get violent.

Sometimes I wondered what went through people's minds sometimes. This was the first time I had ever displayed any signs of rough, physical actions, yet they insisted that I had started mauling Jack for no reason. At least, that's what Chris claimed when she encountered me and started giving me tips on romance. I personally didn't fancy being a walking billboard, shamelessly marauding about the townpromotingviolence against lovers, as that definitely wasn't the way I felt.Thank god that not everyone had heard about it, but considering the fact that Chris worked in a large city nearby and the news had reached there somehow, it was only a matter of time.

I was tempted to point out that her marriage hasn't been going so well, either, so she shouldn't be giving tips, but I kept my mouth shut. I didn't care if I had enemies, but insulting someone who was trying to help wouldn't make anything go in my favor, much less anyone else's.

Naturally, her lecture consisted of tips on how to be patient in the face of intensity, learning to listen to the side of the other person, and everything else that a counselor would have told me. But I paid heed to these directions, since I'd probably need them soon.

More or less because tomorrow, I'll force myself to face both Jack and Gustafa, in hopes to get answers, and furthermore, understand the truths that they both withheld from me.


End file.
